I think Samantha Who is going to be one of those fun, guilty pleasure half-hour comedies. It's not a fantastic show, it's not even that funny, and Christina Applegate is way over the top, but it's strangely addicting and has strong supporting characters. And speaking of addicting, I love any TV show that puts "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)" in your head.

That's how this show begins: "The Pina Colada Song" plays as Sam (Christina Applegate) wakes from a seven day coma - the result of a car accident. Her mother (Jean Smart, I love you!) hovers with a video camera, capturing all this for Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Why they'd be interested in a coma victim, I don't know, but it's still funny. Her dad (Kevin Dunn) is there too, as is her friend Dena (Melissa McCarthy - Sookie from Gilmore Girls, destined to always be the nice best friend). But Sam has retrograde amnesia, so she's retained general knowledge, but not memories. These people are strangers to her - not that they understand that. No, they take it somewhat personally - especially her mom.

Ok, scratch the home idea. Her parents act suspiciously pleasant, and Sam's best friend Andrea ("Ahhhhndrea," played by Jennifer Esposito) is there - a manic, overdressed alcoholic. Yikes. Sam bails and heads to Todd's. Barry Watson rocks a simple t-shirt like no one's business. Pant pant pant. Where was I? Oh, she listens to the answering machine, and hears messages from Todd's friends such as, "Whoever ran Sam down, we're going to find them... and buy them a drink!" Ah ha, a clue. Sam's first clue that she might not have been the nicest person in her past life. She asks Todd what she was like and he dodges the question, but points out little things about her, such as, "You always sneeze three times." Sniff. It's these little things that all girls wish their guy kept track of.

Andrea calls: "I'm at Renee's birthday party! Where are you?!" Honestly, does no one understand what amnesia is? Sam heads to the party, and when she gets there, a guy grabs her and kisses her like they've done this a thousand times. Turns out Renee is actually Rene, and he's Sam's married lover. Things continue to go south: Dena is there, Andrea is rude to her, and it turns out that Sam and Dena haven't actually been friends since Sam ditched her for the popular kids in high school. But this party isn't over: while sipping her martini, Sam discovers an Alcoholics Anonymous chip in her purse. She goes straight to an AA meeting (and she found one how?) overacts, and is kicked out.

She heads back to Todd's. Applegate overacts some more, tells him that Renee is Rene, and Todd is mad, but mostly relieved, because he'd broken up with Sam just before her accident. Okay then. She leaves Todd's. Standing outside with Frank the Doorman, she realizes that she has nowhere to go. But Frank is wise, as all doormen are: "There is a Tom Waits song: 'If you get far enough away, you'll be on your way back home.'" I found that sort of poignant; even though I'm not sure I really get it. Apparently Sam does, because she heads home.

Now what? If Applegate can dial it back a little, then Sam is someone worth visiting once a week. But I've got to be honest - I'm really coming back for Todd.

Cue:
"If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.
And the feel of the ocean, and the taste of champagne..."

Thank God Dexter Season 2 is underway. Our loveable Hawaiian shirt-clad serial killer is back, and I'll be the first to say I missed him. With the way Season 1 ended, (Recap: Ice Truck Killer is Dexter's brother/Deborah's fiancé and Dexter was forced to kill him) I could not wait to see what was next for Dexter. Luckily the powers that be did not disappoint, and after only three episodes in, poor Dex has already been through a lot. Just in case you missed it, let me catch you up:

This season starts off with Dexter being unable to kill. Between Sergeant Doakes' constant tail and Dexter trying to keep up appearances, our dark avenger just cannot seem to find time to make his move. And when he does finally attempt to serve his brand of justice, things are a little rusty. Dexter just ain't what he used to be.

Angel-no-relation has watched one too many episodes of Oprah.

Rita's ex-husband Paul was beaten to death in prison. Paul began fighting with an inmate only after getting upset at Rita about the piece of evidence, his muddy shoe, which links Dexter to Paul's incarceration. Dexter has to fess up to Rita about the shoe and what he did to Paul, which prompts Rita to ask if Dexter is a drug addict. Dexter, for whatever reason, says he is, and is now forced to attend addiction meetings to be with Rita and the kids. How does Dexter get wrapped up in these things?

Lt. Esmee (Laguerta's replacement) is having issues with her boyfriend seeing another woman, and it's causing her to make career mistakes left and right. On the verge of a nervous breakdown, it seems Esmee might be close to losing her job.

But the biggest shocker of all; Dexter's mass grave of projects has been discovered, prompting a major investigation and a public frenzy. The grave is so large that the FBI is called in on the case, headed by Special Agent Frank Lundy (played by Keith Carradine, who, by the way, played a serial killer on Criminal Minds, kind of ironic huh?). Agent Lundy heads the team and calls on members of the local PD (including Deborah) to help catch the new serial killer known as the Bay Harbor Butcher, AKA Dexter.

So just to sum all of that up for you, Dexter has to deal with Doakes constantly peering over his shoulder, going to addiction meetings, his mentally fragile sister living with him, and being the target of one of the largest serial killer investigations ever with the command center around the corner from his cube. You know, even for a serial killer, you start to feel bad for the poor guy.

But all is not so terrible for Dexter. It seems as though going to these addiction meetings has allowed Dexter to find a friend who might be able to relate to his dark passenger. For a long time Dexter has never been able to talk freely about his inner demons, and it looks like Dexter is starting to feel a connection.

The only problem (yup another one): this new friend is a she, and she happens to be very attractive. Although Dexter doesn't have much in the area of feelings, another woman in his life might affect things with Rita. The way I see it, Rita might get drastic, and it will be interesting to see how drastic she gets. But then again, Dexter did show some passion when the used car salesman/serial predator said something about Rita. Maybe Dexter does have a heart and will see how his new friend affects Rita.

Although Dexter has managed to slip away from Doakes this episode by buying a brand new mini-van (then killing the guy that sold it to him), Doakes is not letting up. Hopefully Dexter will be able to shake him soon and get back the freedom he deserves. In fact, spoiler alert: this will probably be happening next episode. And it goes down in a pretty funny way.

Deborah has had a tough time dealing with the new case and with new men in her life. Although she has expressed uncertainty in her ability to perform on the case, Agent Lundy has shown confidence in her. We will see how Deborah will handle her inner demons.

Lots of questions have already been raised by these first three weeks of Dexter and it will be interesting to see which ones will be answered soon. The writers of this show have a great way of giving you just enough, but always keeping some things in the dark. Get ready for a great season.

Serena and Blaire's friendship is tested; Chuck and Nate plan a party weekend

Things are starting to heat up on the Upper East Side...this episode finally revealed the inner workings of most of our characters, giving them a depth not seen before. The unfortunate exception is Blake Lively as Serena. I really want to like her, but she's proving to be a huge disappointment, and I'm going to have to admit something: She can't act. Sorry, it's the truth.

The fabulous Margaret Colin joins the series as Blaire's mom, fashion designer Eleanor Waldorf. She's got a new clothing line coming out and her advisors think they should find a model who truly fits Waldorf for Bendels (or whatever this line is called). Who else but... Blaire Waldorf?! Fab! Terrific! We know this can only lead to no good!

Serena and Blaire are out shopping and Serena runs into Dan. She acts giggly and stupid and it's not charming, it's lame. Very disappointed in Blake Lively. Penn Badgley makes up for it by being so hot. Serena giggles, "Call me so that we can... not talk, like we talked about." Ugh. But he actually does! Go Dan! Unfortunately, he calls while Serena and Blaire are dancing around pretending to be at a photo shoot. It's painful. The faux-photo shoot, not the call. Dan holds his own when Blaire is rude to him, plus manages to ask Serena to a movie. She accepts. Go Dan.

The Lost Weekend continues. A Mall Crawl. Chuck is wearing... I don't know what he's wearing. Some kind of fancy gym outfit? He acts like a jerk, Carter postures, Nate sulks.

At the Waldorf clothing shoot, Blaire's stiffness concerns Eleanor's minions. Serena overhears them talking, and advises Blaire to loosen up. They get silly and act like tigers. I'm so embarrassed for them that I can barely watch. But it works, so when Serena tells Blaire she has to go to meet Dan, Blaire panics. "I need you here!" So Pushover stays. She calls Dan and cancels. He's bummed. Poor Dan.

He goes home and talks things out with his dad. (Yes, you read that right.) Words can't explain how hot Mr. Humphrey is. Love Matthew Settle.... [swoon]...ok I'm back. Dan says he's not sure Serena is worth it, (Dan, I'm really not sure she is), and if Blaire is Serena's best friend, what's that say about Serena? Rufus (Mr. H) tells a brief story about a "girl like Serena" that he once dated. "She was difficult and enigmatic, and worth it." (And Serena's mom. It has to be.) He continues, pointing out that bitches like Blaire are usually like that for a reason. (So wise, he is.) When Serena calls Dan later to setup a make-up date, the fool actually accepts. But get this - she invites him to the photo shoot the next day. This can't be good.

And it isn't! Eleanor's minions told her that Blaire sucks and Serena's their girl. But of course Mrs. Waldorf can't tell her daughter that, so she tells Blaire they've gone in "another direction" instead. Meanwhile, Serena shows up at the photo shoot to support Blaire. Inexplicably, Blaire stops by, and spots Serena all gussied up and being photographed. She's understandably pissed. Serena runs after her, and they argue in the stairwell. Blaire cries, "You take everything from me!" Serena says, "They told me we were both doing the shoot!" Dan has just arrived, and hears the whole thing, although neither girl sees him until Blaire runs past him. This scene proves what a strong actress Leighton Meester is. She runs circles around Blake Lively.

Dan finds Blaire in a heap on the hallway floor. She makes a snide comment, but he has been counseled by his hottie father and sinks down next to her to talk. Is he the perfect guy or what? He tells her that his Mom left his family to "find herself as an artist," and he seems to be the only person who realizes that she isn't coming back. Every time he sees her he wants to tell her how angry is, but he never does. Blaire's paying attention. "Why not?" "I don't know. But I wish I told her how I felt." Okay okay, so this scene requires a suspension of disbelief, but it works.

Dan is less impressed with Serena, whose story he apparently doesn't believe. Eleanor accused her of always wanting the spotlight, and Dan seems to agree. Oh great," Serena says when he approaches her in the dressing area (uh... what? Can't this wait, Dan?) "My best friend hates me and now so does the guy I like." Hmmm....yeah, not buying it. I really want to, but I'm not.

The Lost Weekend continues. Carter and Nate are gambling, Carter convinces Nate to put in a marker to cover his bet, Nate loses, and he panics because he doesn't have the money. He inexplicably figures out that Carter is actually a bad person who set him up in order to get his money. Wait, what? I was sort of hoping Carter would be a cool new character. Guess not. Chuck arrives and pays Nate's debt. It's sweet; maybe I do understand the charm of Chuck. Nate later goes online to pay him back, and finds that his trust fund account has been drained. I hate when that happens. He calls the bank, and is told that his father took all the money out. (But do we buy this? Are we supposed to think it might have been Carter?)

Blaire arrives back at the photo shoot and confronts her mom for choosing Serena over her. ("It's going to feel good to stand on my own!" - Amanda Jones in Some Kind of Wonderful. Anyone? No?) Serena and Dan show up and it's a love fest. After Dan apologizes for judging her, they make plans to go out again, and even Blaire sort of approves. The girls then grab the Waldorf clothes and take pictures of themselves wearing them all over New York City. I cringe in embarrassment for them.

News for fellow GG lovers: The series was picked up for the rest of the season!

'Til next week (and many weeks to come)!

Gossip Girl Fanblogger

As is typical with pilots, in last week's pilot episode of Pushing Daisies, we got a ton of information: backstory on Ned's power and Chuck's life with her aunts, plus the mystery of who killed Chuck. It was a lot to take in - and I enjoyed doing so - but I was curious as to what format each future episode would take. It seemed as though all Ned and Emerson had to do was wake up the victim and ask him or her a few questions and their job would be done, which could get a little repetitive. But it turns out the victims don't always know the whole story, or don't always get the chance to tell it.

Right off the bat, this show is triumphant in its self-awareness. It's kooky, it's weird, it's cute, and as Ned puts it, it's "eccentric in a quaint way, like dessert spoons." All the little details in the first few scenes were great. Up until she was in her teens, Chuck thought a refrigerator was called a cheesebox. Olive spies on Ned with an elaborately rigged mirror. Emerson knits in his free time. The City Morgue is painted to look like a candy cane for no reason at all. And we accept these things because the details are what matter in the Pushing Daisies world.

Bernard was a "scientist guy" at Dandy Lion Automotive, a company that developed a car that runs on dandelions. The head of Dandy Lion is a man named Mark Chase, played by Patrick Fabian who I immediately recognized as Professor Hank Landry from Veronica Mars, but I'm more fond of his role as Professor Lasky on Saved by the Bell: The College Years. (Side note for Veronica Mars fans - it was a good week for some of our favorite actors: Beaver was on SVU and Charles Wiedmore was on Aliens in America.) Chuck finds Jeanine in promotions, dressed up as a dandelion, and at first she denies knowing anyone named Bernard but fully embraces her love of pie... and then throwing it up afterwards. Jeanine has a secret, and it's bulimia.

After viewing a Dandy Lion crash demonstration, Chuck stumbles upon a closet full of crash test dummies hanging from the ceiling. The team returns that night to see that the closet is now full of dead bodies in dummy suits, so Ned gets to questioning them. Dandy Lion used human bodies as test subjects instead of dummies, but why?

Olive sings "Hopelessly Devoted" in a musical interlude that seemed a little weird, but then I reminded myself what show I was watching and just enjoyed it. After all, if you cast Kristin Chenoweth in a show, you might as well have her sing. Jeanine joins the crew at the Pie Hole and confesses that she and Bernard were secretly in love. He began to grow distant so she followed him on late night drives and she agrees to lead them to his destination. On the way, Chuck gets on Ned about keeping secrets again: "You love secrets, you want to marry secrets and have half-secret, half-human babies." And then Jeanine's car explodes.

The team (crew? Gang? I need a clever name for Emerson, Ned, and Chuck - any suggestions?) finds a pile of dummies in a hole in the ground. Since the dummies are programmed to collect crash data, there must be someone who doesn't want that data to get out. It's probably the guy in the dummy costume that just tasered them and put them in body bags inside a Dandy Lion car. Drumroll please - the murderer is... Mark Chase!

That's right, it's the old Scooby Doo trick where it turns out the caretaker of the amusement park was actually the ghost! Bernard had known about the crash data and didn't want to take Chase's bribe to hide the results anymore. Chase killed him in the Dandy Lion crash facility then set it up to look like a hit and run.

Right when things were getting a little dark and creepy (those dummy masks are scary!) there's a sweet, genuine moment to balance it. Since they're protected by body bags, Ned and Chuck can finally kiss, with a rubbery aftertaste as their only setback. Emerson's knitting skills come in handy as he uses one of his needles to undo the zipper on his body bag, and they take off in their Dandy Lion as Chase gives chase (ha) in a Hummer (double ha).

Ned, Chuck, and Emerson just barely escape the same fate as Jeanine - if the car reached a certain speed with the seat warmers on low, it would short circuit and explode - by breaking for Olive and Digby crossing the street in front of them. Chase gets caught by the cops and all is right with the world. Especially when Ned shows Chuck the new addition to his car. He's built a Plexiglas wall separating the front two seats so she can finally sit shotgun and they can hold hands through a rubber glove. I love how these clinical, sterile materials are used in a clever, sweet way that gives them new meaning. I never thought Plexiglas would make me go "aww" until now.

This episode was a great follow-up to the premiere. I can definitely picture how the show would last, as long as there are interesting cases to solve and Ned and Chuck's relationship has ups and downs. Cheeseboxes and historic erotica kept in the milk cellar will help too.

Remember all those times you were flipping through the channels, looking for that perfect combination of crime procedural, love story, and quirky dramedy with a sci-fi twist? Your prayers have been answered. I am pleased to introduce Pushing Daisies, a show that really and truly is like nothing else on TV. Either that or it's like everything else on TV, all mushed together into one sweet, funny, Technicolor package.

First of all, this episode was titled "Pie-lette." Get it? Pi-lette? Pilot! They've reeled me in already.

Ned is a piemaker first and foremost (I love how the narrator refers to him as "the piemaker") and a renegade murder solver second. He has teamed up with Emerson Cod (Chi McBride) to revive murder victims just long enough to ask them who killed them and then collect the reward money. Seems like a pretty sweet (and lucrative) gig, until the murder victim is Chuck. She was mysteriously strangled with a plastic bag at the ice machine while on a cruise so when Ned wakes her up, she doesn't know the answer to his question. Sixty seconds tick by and the funeral director (who is unfortunately on the toilet like Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park) gets it.

As if the oversaturated colors and wacky camera angles hadn't convinced you yet, here's where the show breaks the mold. In its simplest form, this concept would run something like this: In every episode, Ned and Emerson have to solve a wacky murder. But the man in charge, Bryan Fuller, who brought us such quirk-fests as Dead Like Me and Wonderfalls, has added the element of a revived Chuck. Here, things could still be formulaic: In every episode, Ned somehow has to keep from touching Chuck, but she doesn't get it. We'd be in for a whole lot of frustration, anger, oops-he-almost-told-her-but-phew-he-didn't, over and over again. But here's the difference: Ned tells Chuck about his power. Chuck wants to know who killed her just as badly, so she teams up with Ned and Emerson to figure it out. It's definitely a much more interesting way of going about it. Chuck's in on it, and she has to try just as hard as Ned does not to initiate contact. Neither of them wants her to be dead, or as Ned says near the end of the episode, "I just thought my world would be a better place with you in it."

The other layer is something that Ned does keep secret. He is responsible for Chuck's father's death, but she doesn't know it, and that's where the tension lies. Sure, Ned revives Chuck because he likes her, but he also wants to somehow make up for the fact that he killed her father. Way more potential for emotional distress with this hanging over his head.

Besides all the backstory, Ned and his team do solve the mystery of Chuck's death (which I thought would be a multiple-episode arc, but I'm okay with it). Turns out she got the cruise trip for free in order to pick up some plastic monkey figurines. Her murderer wanted those monkeys, but couldn't get back in her room because her key had fallen in the ice machine. The monkeys wind up at Chuck's aunts' house, where she was raised after her father died. Of course the aunts (Swoosie Kurtz and Ellen Greene) are wacky, but they're not like any wacky aunts I've ever seen. Lily and Vivian are identical twins and former synchronized swimmers with social phobias and only three working eyes between them. The murderer goes after the monkeys, but is shot by one-eyed Aunt Lily as he tries to kill Ned. Luckily Chuck was just out of her one eye line or else there would have been some 'splainin to do.

We still don't know who the killer is (just that he's dead) but we sure know why he wanted those monkeys. As Ned and Chuck make the figurines kiss (aww), they break open the plastic coating to find... gold. Two solid gold monkeys: Worth murdering an innocent young lonely traveler for? Apparently.

There are plenty of other things I loved about this show: Ned and Chuck holding their own hands because they can't hold each others', the interaction between Ned and Emerson, Ned's device for petting his dog that he revived when he was nine, and all the other kooky details. The dialogue is great too - if at times a little too quick for me to catch everything. A favorite exchange: when Chuck tells Ned, "You can't just touch somebody's life and be done with it," and Ned replies, "Yes I can. That's how I roll." There were plenty of potentially schmaltzy lines like, "I suppose dying's as good an excuse as any to start living," but in this semi-fantasy, Roald-Dahl-esque world, they didn't come off as cheesy or unbelievable. In the universe of Pushing Daisies, they sound just right.

Blaire and Serena make up; Dan learns high society types aren't all bad

I'm becoming addicted to this show, and I wonder if I should be ashamed of that since I'm not exactly its target demo, which is probably tweens, teens and early 20-somethings. Gulp. But it's so entertaining.

It's Ivy League week and the kids are vying for usher spots at the Ivy League Mixer. At first, I had no idea what they were talking about, having never been Ivy League material myself. But apparently an usher hangs out with the school's rep at the party, introducing, making small talk, and getting drinks. Sounds awful, but its clearly prestigious. So, Dan wants to go to Dartmouth, and he wants that usher spot. Nate doesn't want to go to Dartmouth, but his dad insists that he does, so guess who gets the usher spot? That's right, the legacy. Dan is pissed and he takes it out on Serena.

Meanwhile, Blaire and Serena's feud has escalated from name calling to cat fights in P.E. Yikes. Blaire plans "total social destruction" and asks Chuck (has he trimmed his eyebrows?) to follow Serena. He spots her coming out of the Ostroff Addiction Center and Mental Facility. (Or something like that. I'm still chuckling that The CW's President of Entertainment is Dawn Ostroff. Way to get that clearance, legal department!) We know that she is visiting her brother Eric, who getting treatment there following a suicide attempt. But Chuck - and later Blaire - assumes that Serena was the inmate.

The Mixer. Serena commandeers the Yale rep (where Blaire wants to go to school) and Blaire returns the favor with the Brown rep. But here is something cute - Dan and Nate helping each other. Nate is at a total conversational loss with the Dartmouth guy, an English Lit professor. When Nate approaches the drinks table, where Dan is serving, they exchange barbs, but then Dan helps him out. Gives him some background on the professor and his book The Petting Zoo, (a book we see Dan reading later. I googled it, and the only book I could find by that name is by Bret Singer, published in 1979, about family relationships. Ha!) Nate returns the favor (although is it really a favor since Nate doesn't want to go to Dartmouth anyway?) and let's Dan bring the drinks to the professor.

Meanwhile, Jenny and Eric run into each other at the mixer. They met briefly before when Serena introduced them in the pilot. So I wouldn't exactly call them best friends, yet he proceeds to tell her all about the Ostroff Center and his attempted suicide. Okay. But this becomes important later when Blaire stands up and makes an announcement. She's on a community outreach committee and this year they want to honor the Ostroff Center, and would Serena van der Woodsen like to come up and say a few words? Serena is determined to protect Eric, so she goes onstage and acts as if she really was the patient.

Dan is stunned. Serena was an addict? But Jenny tells him the truth. He goes after Serena when she leaves the mixer, and apologizes for being a jerk. She accepts and asks him to call her. It's sorta sweet. Meanwhile, Eric tells Blaire that he was the one at the Ostroff Center, and shows her where he slit his wrists. She looks stunned, but will she eventually use this as ammo?

Final scene. Blaire (cool it on the make up, Leighton Meester!) approaches Serena in Central Park. (Oooh, I love that hat.) She reads her a letter she wrote when Serena was away at boarding school. In it, she writes that she is falling apart because her father has left her mother for another man, she has no one to talk to, she doesn't understand why Serena left without saying goodbye, and she misses her. Blaire and Serena quietly cry and Serena says, "I didn't know how to be your friend after what I did." I assume she's talking about sleeping with Blaire's boyfriend, but is she?

All seems well for now. But only time will tell.

'Til next week!

XOXO
Gossip Girl Fanblogger

For a TV fanatic like myself the coming of the fall season chock full of its new premieres and returning juggernauts brings me the kind of joy I should not readily admit to having. Of course this most wonderful time of the year has its dark side too.

If last year taught me anything it was that if I fall hard for a show it will most likely be canceled without even getting a shot to finish out a full season. Remember when I proclaimed my doomed love for NBC's The Black Donnelly's? That worked out really well for the boys in Hell's Kitchen. And then there was The Nine.

Yes, I know there were those folks who called The Nine Lost inside a bank instead of on an island. And for the umpteenth time I will assert that the two shows are NOT the same. Had any of those people actually tuned into The Nine they would have known that, and maybe the show would still be on the air. Unfortunately, ABC did little to help separate the two shows in the minds of potential viewers by scheduling them back-to-back on Wednesday night. To make matters worse, although they are different shows they both are dramas that require viewers to mentally engage in their tales. Watching Lost can hurt a person's mind worse than eating ice cream too fast. Expecting audiences to sit around and think for another hour after that was at best idealistic on the part of programmers if not downright idiotic.

For those of you that were in the same boat as me when ABC pulled the plug on The Nine midway through the season, the network that broke my heart had enough decency to play the remaining episodes this summer. If you missed it then you can buy the last six episodes on iTunes -- it is absolutely worth the $13.

Why rehash these painful memories? Especially when despite everything I know I will never fully break-up with ABC as long as they keep All My Children on the air and turn out dramaddictions like Grey's Anatomy? Simple. After tuning into the series premiere of Dirty Sexy Money last night in the 10 PM timeslot previously held by The Nine I am trying to simultaneously steel myself for another heartache and find hope that maybe this time ABC will not let me down. Quite a contradiction but then again the course of true love never did run smooth (please refer to the beginning of this article where I said I should not readily admit to how deeply TV impacts my life if you are wondering why I am quoting A Midsummer Night's Dream when talking about a broadcast network).

I tried to ignore the glossy ads plastered all over Manhattan for Dirty Sexy Money because I remembered how excited I had been after seeing ABC's publicity campaign for The Nine last year. I attempted not to think about the team behind the camera including creator Craig Wright (Six Feet Under, Brothers & Sisters) and executive producers Greg Berlanti (Everwood, Jack & Bobby) and Bryan Singer (The Usual Suspects, X-Men, House). I really did not want to get attached to another new series with a stellar cast -- Peter Krause of Six Feet Under and Sports Night glory, Samaire Armstrong from my old flame The O.C. and Entourage, Donald Sutherland and Jill Clayburgh who have covered the entertainment map and Billy "William" Baldwin who is awesome for the sheer fact that he is a Baldwin brother (remember when his fictional death in South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut triggered a war between the U.S. and Canada?). It all sounded too good to be true and I knew ABC would find some way to muck it up.

Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you look at it, I am a glutton for punishment and made sure to tune into Dirty Sexy Money after the premiere of the sadly lackluster Private Practice (sorry, Tim Daly, I love you but you need to stop taking jobs for ABC). Thank goodness I did. I have not had so much fun watching a pilot since the Desperate Housewives series premiere. Slick, campy, and witty, the show has as much fun playing with music and scene design as the cast does playing their eccentric characters.

Let me start with the filthy rich and scandalously delicious Darling family who we are first introduced to as they roll up in style with Led Zeppelin playing in the background to a funeral for their family lawyer, Dutch, who died in an airplane crash. There's the Reverend Brian (Glenn Fitzgerald) who has an illegitimate son and a lot of anger towards Dutch and the world at large. Fitzgerald has the uncanny ability to make the three words "I hate you" hilarious no matter how many times he says them in one episode. Then we have Patrick (Baldwin), the attorney general being groomed for a role in the Senate who cannot break up with his transgendered mistress Carmelita (Candis Cayne). Karen (Natalie Zea) is looking for love in all the wrong places and currently set to marry husband number four, Freddy (Daniel Cosgrove), a golf-pro who is rarely allowed to get a word in edgewise around the other members of the Darling family. Jeremy (Seth Gabel) and Juliet (Armstrong) are the youngest of the Darling children and inhabit the widely-reported on world of young socialites with too much money and time on their hands. An actress who can't act, Armstrong's flighty Juliet is a far cry from the wise-cracking Anna Stern she played on The O.C. and I love Armstrong all the more for it.

At the head of the Darling family we have Tripp (Sutherland) and Letitia (Clayburgh), a couple who, on the surface, appear to have it all -- power, wealth, a loving relationship and a beautiful family. My favorite moment for Letitia is when she shattered an expensive vase just to get her point across during a family meeting. I think there will be a lot more to her character in upcoming episodes once she is given a bigger part to play (and I'm pretty sure she will have a bigger part but we'll get to that later). And then there is Tripp. Sutherland masterfully plays the role making Tripp extremely likeable in his unassuming, easy-going manner all the while hinting at more dastardly intentions lurking underneath the surface.

Tripp is at his finest when he smooth talks Dutch's son, Nick George (Krause) into following in his father's shoes and working as the family's lawyer. Although Nick always resented how much time his father devoted to the Darlings and promised himself never to be like Dutch Tripp manages to wrangle him into the family's ongoing messes by offering him everything he wants -- $10 million a year to do charitable works in Dutch's name on top of his salary, flexible hours, and the ability to do everything his way. Tripp is like the Godfather making an offer that can't be refused but he opts to tug on heartstrings, not chop off a horse's head to get the job done as he tells Nick that he will pay such a high price for his advice and company because he misses Dutch.

Nick takes the job despite his misgivings about working for the family. He even convinces his wife, Lisa (Zoe McLellan) that he will be able to make it work and not at the expense of his own family, which also includes his adorable daughter Kiki (Elle Fanning).
Of course we all know how well that will turn out.
It doesn't take long before Nick decides to quit working for the Darlings. Between Patrick's "code pink" when he asks Nick to break up with his transgender girlfriend for him, bailing Jeremy out of jail after he wins a yacht filled with illegal aliens he has trained to call him "Captain", Juliet's attempt to OD by washing a bunch of pills down with her diet soda, and Karen's incessant and uncomfortable attempts to woo Nick right in front of her fiance and Nick's wife, it's no surprise that he wants to make a hasty exit.

This would prove to be bad news for the rest of the season if the show is based around Nick working for the Darlings but Wright & Co. come up with a brilliantly believable way to reconcile Nick, who does have morals and a backbone, sticking close to this disastrous and spoiled family. In the very end of the episode Karen drops the bombshell that a man Reverend Brian had asked her to give $10,000 to three months ago because he was down on his luck and working with the church to straighten out his life was suddenly demanding she pay him an additional $90,000 now. And by the way, this mystery man is an airplane mechanic and Brian always hated Dutch for having a 40-year-long affair with his mother, Letitia! Dutch's plane is recovered but his body is nowhere to be found and Tripp is looking awfully suspicious when Nick tells him his father's waterproof briefcase was recovered from the wreckage. DUN DUN DUN. Nothing like a good murder mystery to go along with your soap!

Nick decides to stay on as the family lawyer so that he can get to the bottom of who killed his father and make that person pay. I love that despite being a likeable, good, upstanding guy Krause shows that Nick also has a dark side dying to come out and his interactions with the Darling family will be just the catalyst to do so. Some of Nick's best moments are when he full-out chases Brian and tackles him for his disparaging remarks about Dutch and when he snaps at Jeremy to shut up and stop whining about his privileged life.

Despite my own misgivings I am going to risk letting myself love Dirty Sexy Money. I am hoping given the fact that ABC has decided that Wednesdays are now for FUN! and not mentally draining dramas there is a slim chance that I will be able to take a ride with these nuanced characters that goes beyond one season.

Serena and Blaire argue; Jenny gets closer to the inner circle

It's the morning after Blaire's big party, and where is everyone? Well anyone who's anyone is preparing for Chuck's dad's fundraiser brunch...

That doesn't include Dan and Jenny who are dissecting the night before, and Dan's disastrous choice to wave to Serena instead of walk her to her door. You idiot! Maybe he should go over and see her. Meanwhile, Serena is chatting with her brother about Dan. "He's smart and funny!" - but she's more worried about Blaire. She'll go over and talk to her. Nate and Chuck wake up hung over, and cursing Dan Humphrey for entering their exclusive world.

It's not much warmer over at Blaire's. Serena stops by but Blaire says, "I must have blanked on the part where I invited you over." Meeooww! She tells Serena that Nate told her that they slept together. She calls her a whore, and says, "You're done here." Oooooooh. What's Serena going to do now? Those annoying Gossip Girl voice-overs (Kristen Bell, you were so much better at VO-ing Veronica Mars) suggest that perhaps revenge will play a role.

Later, Jenny shows up at Blaire's because she wants to know if Chuck said anything about her, and because let's face it, Jenny wants to be popular. She gushes while Blaire tries on dresses for the brunch and Blaire in turn finds out that the guy with Serena the night before is Jenny's brother. No dummy, she plays her cards right and offers Jenny one of her dresses. Jenny, there are strings attached! Don't do it! But Jenny is naïve and accepts it. Blaire advises her, "If you want to be part of this world, people will talk. You need to decide if this is worth it." Of course, we know it isn't, but if Jenny knew that, we wouldn't have a show.

Meanwhile Lily meets Rufus (Dan and Jenny's dad) for coffee to discuss the burgeoning relationship between Serena and Dan. Rufus is fine with that, but he really thinks this is an excuse for Lily to see him, because apparently these two have a past. They certainly have chemistry. He asks if she's seeing anyone, maybe a married man, since "that's what you like." Wait, what? With Rufus? When he was married? I love the adult storylines on this show just as much as the teens.

Serena and Dan meet up on the street. Blake Lively desperately needs a haircut. Dan apologizes for the wave, and they decide to get something to eat. These two have no chemistry whatsoever. Lily shows up, is less than pleased to see Serena with Dan again, and forces Serena to go to Chuck's brunch. Serena drags Dan with her. This is guaranteed to be interesting.

Chuck's brunch. Why is Blaire dressed like a virginal Alice in Wonderland? What's with the headband with bow? She's outraged that Serena is at the brunch. Nate and Serena share a look and arrange to go to Chuck's suite so they can talk. You know this isn't going to be good. Sure enough, Chuck gives Blaire his key so she and Nate can have sex there. Did he know Nate and Serena were meeting there? And here's an interesting turn of events: Nate's dad says to him, "Blaire seems happy. Looks like you're taking care of business like we discussed." Huh?

Confrontation in Chuck's suite! Serena and Blaire argue. Blaire calls her a whore. Meanwhile, Dan spots Lily talking with Bart (Chuck's dad). Maybe Rufus was on to something with the married man thing. The teens move back to the dining room where Blaire and Chuck make sure that Dan knows that his "perfect girl" Serena slept with Nate. Dan is definitely not impressed. Good for you Dan.

Serena follows him out. "I'm sorry I'm not who you thought I was but I'm trying to change." (Come on, yeah, it's bad that she slept with her best friend's boyfriend, but it's not like she killed anyone.) Nevertheless, Dan walks away. He turns back to look at her, but then turns around again just as she turns to look at him. Clearly it wasn't meant to be, and Gossip Girl blogs that Dan's 15 minutes are up. Of course, we know they can't be.

'Til next week!

XOXO
Gossip Girl Fanblogger

In the world of the sitcom, it's a rare animal that favors intelligent humor over slapstick stupidity. However, it is an even more odd duck that can balance the two to make a happy combination of silly and smart. Though not perfectly, The Big Bang Theory approximates this equilibrium and comes up with a cute and totally laughable new TV series.

The premiere episode opens up with an overtly lowbrow humor setup - two awkward and overly intellectualized nerds at a high IQ sperm bank. Though the dialogue between Leonard and Sheldon does not exactly take the high road, they still manage to simultaneously slip in jokes about differentials and integrals. As I chuckled at the same crack that my calculus professor might have made in my 9 AM class the day before, I also realized that you didn't need to know what the boys were talking about to find their back and forth amusing.

Case in point, when the boys come back from their ill-fated sperm bank journey, they invite over their pretty new neighbor, Penny. In doing so, they manage to awkwardly imply that they're a gay couple, discuss the laxative qualities of Indian food, and show Penny their respective "white boards" of work. As they squabble over whose research is more important and impressive, the show slips in more jokes about string theory that have the same double punchline - the actual jokes about strings theory's multiple universes and the underlying joke that they're actually fighting about string theory.

And if you felt bad about laughing about the uber-dorks, you can also laugh at the ditzy archetype, Penny, who apparently doesn't understand the implications of walking out of a bathroom in a towel. She's a screenwriter, writing a story that's suspiciously close to her own fairly dull life, but in her day hours, she works as a hostess at the Cheesecake Factory. Played innocently and moreover, sweetly, by Kaley Cuoco, Penny's character only works because she doesn't seem to have a mean bone in her body. She doesn't take advantage of Leonard and Sheldon, though she certainly could, but rather treats them as new friends. When she asks them to do her a favor by picking up her TV from her ex-boyfriend's, she feels so terrible about the outcome that she takes them and all their friends out to dinner.

That's right, Penny willingly puts up with Leonard and Sheldon's friends, the group of boys who come over to play Klingon boggle and watch taped lectures of Stephen Hawking. Wolowitz, a red turtlenecked dork who looks like he belongs in a bad 80's movie, attempts to woo Penny with his multiple language knowledge, while Koothrappall is forced to ignore her. Because he doesn't speak to girls. Ever.

When Leonard and Sheldon return both pantsless and TV-less from a harrowing experience with Penny's ex-boyfriend, they find her being asked out on an online quest by Wolowitz. The scene is so absurd and silly, but even funnier because of the kid you do know who would think a girl could be wooed by an online "pad" that he designed all by himself. And if Wolowitz was just a little bit smoother, he would be that smarmy guy who sleeps with everyone. Except that he's a huge dork, and goes for Penny by explaining how to kick back while engaged in an online quest. Meanwhile, in the opposite direction of humor, Leonard and Sheldon stand in the doorway with no pants.

The nuances of The Big Bang Theory help it rise above common sitcom status. The boys, their friends, and all their quirks all play off of Penny with humor and good-natured wit. While they could really use to lose the laugh track, the laughs coming from the other side of the television were definitely genuine on my part.

Aside from my Hills addiction the other summer reality show that I can't get enough of is Rock of Love with Bret Michaels. Especially after the atrocity that was the MTV Video Music Awards last week I'm going to take a time-out from praising MTV's programming (quick sidebar - Screw you, Justin. Just because you want to see yourself on MTV more doesn't mean I do. Don't go on a rant about MTV's reality shows when you are receiving an award from the hands of MTV's biggest reality stars) to give the powers that be at VH1 their proper props.

And just when I was worried that my reality viewing life had peaked with Flavor Flav's epic quest for love drawing to a close VH1 completely reinvents the wheel by switching from an old-school rapper to an old-school glam metal superstar. It took some serious genius power at VH1 to have the foresight that Poison front man Bret Michaels could be swoon-worthy twenty years after exploding onto the eighties rock scene. Although I did already have a soft spot for Bret for giving us the classic ballad "Every Rose Has Its Thorn", made even more spectacular when Bill and Ted quoted the chorus to win the princesses in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure and to get into heaven in Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, Rock of Love gives me a whole new set of warm and fuzzy feelings for the rocker, even with his questionable hairstyle choices.

I will go out on a limb here and say that though I tuned in religiously both times Flavor Flav gave his own cracked out interpretation of The Bachelor I love Rock of Love 234,356 times more. I don't think I'm alone in this either. While sitting with my parents I turned on the latest episode that VH1 so kindly plays first thing Sunday morning before airing it later in primetime. They weren't paying attention to what I put on because they were in the middle of a conversation about things much more important than what was on TV (we obviously have different priorities). It all went something like this:

Mom and Dad: Wah wah wah...life...wah wah wah…real issues...wah wah wah...inhabiting reality...
Me: (excited) Oh snap! This is going to be the episode where Heather FINALLY turns on Lacey!
Mom and Dad: (shaking their heads) We don't care, Kara!

Granted, I talk to the TV about the TV far more than any sane person should admit to, so it's no surprise they blew me off so quickly. It was only once the names sunk in and they picked their heads up to see Lacey's tacky blood red hair on the screen that the scene played out as follows:

Mom: Wait, are you talking about Rock of Love?
Dad: It's on now? I DO care!
Mom: I hate that Lacey girl. Jess is so beautiful!
Dad: How does Bret Michaels have so many things to say about all these girls? Someone must write his lines for him.

So you see it's not just me. Rock of Love has the right mix of crazy and entertaining potential girlfriends for a surprisingly sensitive rock star who doesn't make me regurgitate a little of my last meal at the sight of him making out with another woman a la Flavor Flav. There are plenty of strippers, implants and cocktail waitresses but they all have just enough cards in their respective decks to make me believe they could be in a real relationship with Bret.

All of them could be with Bret except for Lacey of course.
Since the moment she shoved a fully-clothed Jess into the pool and outright plotted to get Dallas off the show it's been fairly obvious that Lacey is the devil's spawn of the bunch. As much as I loathe her as far as reality TV villains go she's been a rather successful one. She managed to twist every situation to pick off her competitors one by one and for that I have to appreciate her role on the show. However, the fact that she stayed on to rock Bret's world week after week even after almost every other girl in the house told Bret how terrible she was, his Superfans dropped by to tell him how terrible she was and he could see how terrible she was when she got wasted and smashed up a bar in Vegas made me question the rocker's judgment. When would enough be enough?

Thankfully I got my answer this week before I had to scream at Bret through my TV again. Lacey's manipulative ways finally backfired when she tried to pull a Brutus-size act of betrayal by backstabbing her only ally Heather. As far as strippers go, Heather might not have a heart of gold but she's certainly got cojones of steel. In the middle of one of Lacey's passive-aggressive attacks where she infests Bret's mind with detracting comments about her competition, Heather attacks and aims straight for the jugular. Heather goes so far as to eventually confront Lacey in front of Lacey's parents by completely blowing up her spot and sharing all the dirty details of Lacey's alleged sexual encounters with Bret. Was it a low blow? Yes. Was it trashy to say that in front of people's parents? Yes. Do I care? No, Lacey deserved it as payback for all the filth she spewed about everyone else on the show.

Although I ultimately want Jess to win because she is the only relatively normal girl who could hang on a tour bus with Bret and she can rock pink and white hair, I have a newfound appreciation for Heather after this week (I also appreciate that she calls her boobs 'tatters') even if I think she's still an idiot for tattooing Bret's name on the back of her neck. Bret woke up and smelled the crazy when he finally decides to let Lacey go - not only is she a nutjob but her father is insane enough to insinuate that Bret Michaels is a gold digger chasing Lacey for her money. Talk about a priceless WTF moment for Bret.

Now that the big red b*tch is gone and it's down to Heather and Jess, two very real possibilities for Bret, I believe the most fitting words for this final showdown come straight from another pop culture icon, Wayne Campbell: "Game on!"

Bad girl gone good, or is it a part of the act?

Now this is a show I can get behind. Money, intrigue, beautiful people (although what is up with the guys' eyebrows?) - set on Manhattan's Upper East Side. A world I know nothing about but am more than happy to visit once a week. So without further ado, let's join the world of Gossip Girl...

Serena van der Woodsen (Blake Lively) has returned home from a year at boarding school. But was she really at boarding school? And why did she take off so fast anyway? She was queen bee of her school - seemingly had everything. What's going on? A driver picks her up at Grand Central, where she is spotted by Dan Humphrey (the sexy Penn Badgley) who's returned home with his sister Jenny (Taylor Momson) from a brief trip to see their mother. They're picked up by their father, Rufus (Matthew Settle- looking hot hot hot) who's clearly bitter that his wife left him. When Dan spots Serena, we know there will be a story there...

The next morning at the Humphrey loft: Dan and Jenny are hanging with their dad. We learn that Dad is in one of the "Top 10 Forgotten Bands of the 90s" according to Rolling Stone. I find this sort of intriguing in its randomness. It also explains why the Humphrey kids go to a posh private school and yet are seemingly so normal. Dad isn't a businessman or a banker, he made his money as a guitarist! Ya gotta love it. Anyway, Jenny is writing names on envelopes and she exposits that she has been given an invite to Blaire's Kiss on the Lips party because she can address the envelopes in calligraphy.

That night, Serena and Blaire meet at the Palace Hotel bar (where the van der Woodsen's currently reside. (The hotel, not the bar). They talk about old times, and apparently kiss and make up, but I don't believe it for a second. Blaire leaves and Chuck shows up. Serena is drunk at this point and he takes her to the kitchen (his family owns the hotel of course) and is all over her. He says he knows that Serena and Nate slept together before she took off for a year. Oooooooooh. Serena gets away and runs (literally) into Dan. She drops her sidekick, he retrieves it, but she's already gone. Shades of Cinderella?

The next day Dan returns the sidekick, and he and Serena run into her mother. She bought a dress for Serena to wear to the Kiss on the Lips party, but Serena lies and says she already has plans with Dan. Dan charmingly goes along with the plan. I love Penn Badgely. He's the only good thing about John Tucker Must Die. Later, he picks her up, and they have a good time hanging out at his dad's gig until he receives a text from Jenny.

She's at the Kiss on the Lips party, and Chuck has spotted her as fresh meat. He takes her outside and is all over her, not taking no for an answer. Never fear - Dan is here! And Serena! He saves her, and the three of them leave the party together - Dan grabbing Serena's hand. It's quite an exit.

And it's all posted on Gossip Girl's blog. But who is she?

XOXO
Gossip Girl Fanblogger

An all new episode of Damages airs tonight at 10 p.m. on FX.

Damages was good. Really good. The story line was captivating, the character profiles were intriguing, the show concept seems unique. I don't think I can say enough to advocate how well put together Damages appears. Unfortunately, I can never watch it again.

The show's story is told in split time, half moving forward at present time, the other half moving forward from six months previous. Ellen Parsons, the main character, is introduced at present time, as she wanders through the streets of New York City half clothed, and covered in blood. Without any identification, the police officers accompanying her in the interrogation room are at a loss. Her only possession is a business card, with a signature on the back under an ominous message.

This business card pulls us into a flashback, as Ellen turns down a job with a ridiculously large salary. Apparently, this hesitation is because she has been contacted by Patty Hewes, immediately imbuing the name and the persona with enough significance to cause a new and very young lawyer to walk away from a hefty salary. Ellen goes out with her boyfriend that night to celebrate her risk, and runs into the very man whose job she had turned down. Not shockingly, this run-in is no accident. He very seriously warns her about the danger of Patty Hewes' high-stakes litigation, has her sign his business card, and then prints in big, block letters, "I was warned." Which doesn't exactly bode well for Ellen's future.

Ellen's interview with Hewes and Associates is pushed up with very short notice, and after she goes through the ringer, it becomes clear that her actual interview was not moved. It was, in fact, her pre-interview that was rescheduled, and her real interview with Patty will be, set in stone, on Saturday - the day of her sister's wedding. As if it was not yet obvious, this sequence reminds the viewer how hard core of a situation Ellen is throwing herself into. It's like The Devil Wears Prada, but sharper and scarier. Though she chooses her sister's wedding, Patty shows up herself, talks with Ellen there, and offers her the job.

Meanwhile, in present time, the detectives are searching Ellen's apartment, which appears to be in complete disarray, and spattered with blood. They find an engagement ring on the floor, which pulls back to a new flashback. After Ellen's first day of work - most of which constitutes a makeover at Bergdorf's - her boyfriend, David, proposes. And look, Damages, I know the show is supposed to be suspenseful, but did you really have to use that creepy, something-bad-is-definitely-going-to-happen music even then? Give this poor girl some happiness.
Patty's big case at the moment is against Arthur Frobisher, a very Enron-type obscenely rich man who cheated his workers out of billions of dollars. Patty is bringing a class action suit against him, trying to make the case that the government couldn't. To do so, she must connect Frobisher with his broker on a certain weekend in Florida; a connection, as it is presented, that is worth more than just hundreds of millions of dollars. All of a sudden, due to some back door bargaining, the clients want to accept a minimal deal from Frobisher. Patty fires her longtime employee, Tom, for allowing her to be blindsided by the clients, and suddenly, the case falls on Ellen to pull together quickly enough to convince the clients to refuse the deal.

Suddenly, something very coincidental comes into light. Ellen's boyfriend's sister, Katie, has been building a restaurant. And, of course, who is her main investor? Arthur Frobisher. There's no way to miss the sketchiness in his lawyer's appearance with new and improved confidentiality agreements, or the parked car outside her restaurant with some burly and threatening looking men leaning on it every morning. Katie knows something they don't want her to talk about. Odds point to that something being exactly what Ellen needs.

Ellen makes this connection all on her own, and searching for an impartial source, goes to Tom for advice and some of the scoop behind Patty hiring her. He convinces her that it was her own merits, not her convenient family associations, that got Ellen the job. But now, Ellen is left with a moral dilemma - rat Katie out and essentially take away her future sister-in-law's funding for her dream, or allow her boss to lose a huge case.
As Katie walks in the front door, calling for her dog, I knew what had happened. We all knew what had happened. You knew what was going to happen as soon as you saw Katie with her dog earlier in the episode, especially because you also saw Patty talking with Frobisher's lawyer while with the dog. Everyone knows what's going to happen. But that didn't stop me from letting out a blood curdling scream when she slipped on her own dog's blood, whose throat has been slit. The knife used is in the wall, pinning up a sign written in a suspicious shade of red, admonishing, "QUIET." And... I was still screaming.

The final scenes are a whirlwind - Katie decides to testify, the present-day detectives find David with a hole through his head in the bathroom, Tom is still working for Patty, Patty ordered the dog to be killed, I had bad dreams all night. The end of the episode was very fast paced, and had me clinging to the show, even though maybe I screamed again when David's dead face showed up on the screen.

So there you have it. This is a glowing review of a show I can never watch again unless I want my neighbors to call the cops, or I never want to get a good night's sleep again. Damages was great, but maybe a little too damaging for me.

Maybe it's summer television's curse. Maybe it's mine whenever I take to a new show. But for some reason, second episodes seem to be flopping even hard than the pilots could possibly predict. This past week, State of Mind inexplicably transformed into not just a Lifetime Movie, but an After School Special, leaving me cold on the show. Though I went in with hopes of a Grey's Anatomy-esque loyalty and love, I turned off the TV this week with the grim notion that I couldn't watch anymore.

Side Order of Life was still truly awful. For some reason, Lifetime has lumped two shows about female protagonists with ridiculous visions together on Sunday night, leading each to a much more ludicrous start. After watching Side Order of Life with a half an ear, mostly so as to keep my brain and dignity in tact - Pretty Girl will have Quirky Best Friend's Baby to save her from cancer! - I got ready for the next hallucination show, and unfortunately, was highly disappointed.

Meanwhile, we start to get a real peak into other characters on the show - Dr. Taj Kalid and Dr. Cordelia Banks, most importantly. They are having an affair, despite the fact that Dr. Kalid is married. Moreover, Dr. Kalid despises Dr. Banks' pet project, an afternoon safe haven for at-risk teenagers. Granted, he does walk in on two teenagers having sex on his chair, which begs the question - doesn't he lock his door? Nevertheless, this conflict marks the almost comically unconvincing strife between the two, as Dr. Kalid attempts to bring others over to his side, even asking the new lawyer to check over the facilites as a safe guard against liability.

On which note, how did this lawyer get so naïve and stupid? Why is he unable to string together a coherent sentence? As much as I began to dislike the other personas on the show, at least the pompous psychiatrist, the touchy-feely psychologist, and the quirky child specialist made sense, albeit a touch stereotyped sense.

Then, of course, there are the patients. Last week, the patients were normal and interesting. This week's episode went for more sensationalism. In the case of the transgender bridesmaid, it worked, reminding me again of Grey's, giving me hope for the show. Though Dr. Bellowes oversteps the line between doctor and patient, going shopping with the bridesmaid (along with Dr. Bellowes' totally uninvited mother), the story line was interesting and unique - are you a bridesmaid or a groomsman as a transgender sibling of the bride?

However, the child of absent parents, David, was as cookie cutter sensationalist as possible. Have him hold razors to his wrist! Let him go to Dr. Kalid and not be able to spit out how he's feeling! Best of all, give him a gun! He should point it at himself and then at Dr. Kalid, who for some reason, has broken into his house! To call the story line ridiculous is an understatement, especially when the word nonsense can be applied.

The episode had its moments, like when Ann's mother told her she wasn't disappointed about the separation that had been hidden from her, but rather that it had been hidden. However, the moment was ruined by the inexplicable apparition of Ann's vision of herself in an ugly bridesmaid gown. Moreover, none of the follow up conversations between the two was shown, merely Ann's mother leaving the next day, as most of the episode is taken up with Dr. Kalid's posturing and daring rescue of David.

My discussion of my distaste for this episode would not be complete without addressing the "hate speech" scene. After Dr. Kalid berates Dr. Banks for the truant teenagers copulating on his chair, the teens immediately begin hurling absurd stereotypes and racist epitaphs at his back. Dr. Banks' response is to sit them all down for a talk on how language like that ends up with everyone hurting. I actually checked the time, and apparently, it was 9 PM on a Sunday in 2007, and not 3 PM on a Monday afternoon while I was in 4th grade. As each character very carefully pronounced whichever slur they were "using," I realized that the show had gone right down the preachy tubes.

What it looks like, unfortunately, is Lifetime's mid-summer shows, ones I looked forward to as a break in the Summer TV monotony, are actually more painful to watch than anything already on. It's a shame to waste such good music on such a silly show - Feist, Sanders Bohlke, The Weepies, and all the others that have cropped up are such underrated talents. That's not to say that Lifetime has completely failed, however. I very faithfully tuned into Army Wives after I pulled myself out of a 5-minute State of Mind induced eye-roll, and I was rewarded with a gratuitously hot sex scene. Even with my disillusionment, I can at least recognize that Lifetime is just trying to succeed using a model of what they do best - trashy dramatic TV with overblown plots. And sometimes that can work... so long as it involves very attractive naked men.

Because that's what trashy TV is, pure and simple: trash. When Lifetime overreaches it, putting in meaningful hallucinations, speeches on hate language, and depressed 13-year-olds wielding razors on their wrists, it is no longer a guilty pleasure. So I'm tuning out, because State of Mind turned into a bad Health Class video, and frankly, I have the summer off from school.