Everywhere I go someone is talking about The Hills. I put on the radio and Heidi's calling into my local radio station to plug her god awful single. I open my e-mail and someone's sending me a link to a blog Spencer wrote calling Lauren a god awful nickname. Even my dad has a thing or three to say about what's going on with the kids in La La Land.

I keep racking my brain to pinpoint specifically what nerve in the American psyche The Hills strikes to garner such a surprisingly broad response. That sounds bizarrely deep for a reality show following privileged young folks around doesn't it?

Maybe it's not so bizarre. In his time Shakespeare wrote plays for the people, not just the elite. Don't get me wrong -- Billy Shakes is my homeboy (in a good way, not the "homeboy wore cowboy boots to the beach" a la Justin Bobby way). I'm not saying The Hills will have the same impact hundreds of years from now like Shakespeare's works but I am saying they both tap into the core of human nature that we all experience. Both give us stories of betrayal, revenge, anger, greed, and most of all, love.

While it's no secret that I'm an ardent fan of all shows, fictional or semi-fictional, based out of Orange County, I know plenty of people who could care less about the kids out west. The following is a conversation I recently had with a friend who fits into this category:

Friend: So I was watching The O.C., no not The O.C., it was a show on MTV.

Me: You mean Laguna Beach?

Friend: Yes! Except it wasn't called Laguna Beach anymore, it was called The Hills.

Me: (laughing) That's right and wrong. The Hills follows around one of the girls who originally appeared on Laguna Beach but it's its own show.

Friend: Whatever it's called, even though they talk about absolutely nothing important I can't stop analyzing and thinking about it.

The power of The Hills is just that strong that it can suck almost anyone into its void of frivolousness. The premiere of the third season definitely did not dampen the addictiveness of The Hills. In fact, within the first five minutes the show reminded us that Lauren is famous now even though she's not really doing anything above and beyond other girls her age. She's an intern -- sure, she's at Teen Vogue which is cooler than interning at a financial firm or something -- but she's still an intern with her own reality show. The first big news we learn about Lauren's life before the cameras came back on this season is that rumors Heidi and Spencer either created and/or helped to spread were flying that Lauren and Jason made a sex tape together. The rumors wound up on the internet and on the computer screens of plenty of Laguna Beach natives including Lauren's mother.

After eighteen seasons everyone knows The Real World drill -- seven strangers get thrown into an unbelievably awesome house where they will proceed to drink themselves silly, hook up without a STD care in the world, scream, fight, and very likely have at least one run-in with the law. By now these things are a given and a rite of passage for those cast members who want to move on to the true glory of The Real World/Road Rules Challenge show. To use The Price is Right as a metaphor, landing a spot on The Real World is now nothing more than making it down to the Contestants' Row. No one really cares about you until you've got a shot at spinning the Big Wheel and partaking in the Showcase Showdown.

At least that's how I watch The Real World these days. I know I have to get through a whole season in order to have a new batch of people to throw into the Challenge mix. That said, I didn't have any lofty expectations for the nineteenth season of The Real World taking place in Sydney, Australia. You might wonder why I bother watching at all with that outlook. I blame Eric Nies. Ever since he took his shirt off that first time back in 1992 on The Real World's inaugural season in New York I was hypnotized. I was also eleven and already hormonal so that might have had something to do with it too.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

No, I'm not talking about Charles Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities, I'm talking about the trials and tribulations of my favorite Real World kids in Vegas. Although after last night's episode, maybe I should flip that as the worst times came before the best. Or maybe I should quote War and Peace instead or...hell, I give up.

Why do I feel the need to reference lofty (and lengthy) literature when it comes to the latest installment of Reunited? Because Irulan and Arissa treated the whole fall-out from the liver-damaging boozefest that was last week's Bachelor/Bachelorette parties Take Two as though they had been forced to pull themselves out of the trenches by their bootstraps and deserved medals for their heroism.

In several hours I will be boarding a plane for my first trip to Las Vegas. Not only that, but I will be staying at Palms Casino and Resort -- yes, the very same hotel where Real World put up seven strangers five years ago and brought them back together for three weeks this past April to film Reunited: Real World Vegas. With no idea what to expect of my trip, I eagerly watched this week's episode hoping to pick up some helpful tips. This is what I learned:

In the same breath that I just lambasted MTV for degrading their Real World franchise by allowing the crazed masses to elect the last cast mate for the upcoming season, I have to also praise The Powers That Be for elevating the series to a whole new level with Reunited: Real World Vegas.

When I reviewed all the TV networks' Web sites recently, MTV's Overdrive was Billy Ray Cyrus to NBC Rewind's Joey Fatone. Balky, with hard-to-decipher graphics and slow-to-load video streams of its series and "after-shows," MTV's was a site that caused sore eyes.

Click here to read the rest of MTV Web Site Redesign: Way to Rock!

This has been an awesome week in TV for me and it's not even Thursday night!

I was out of the country last week so when I came home from Switzerland on Sunday to new episodes of The Sopranos and Entourage I was beyond stoked. I got so blindsided by their premieres that I completely forgot the return of the all-time greatest reality show was also happening this week.

That's right, folks, MTV's Real World/Road Rules Challenge is back with a third season of The Inferno and I can barely control myself.

Click here to read the rest of Hurry Up and Light That Fire: The Inferno Returns!

My dream: A crossover episode between MTV's The Hills and Two-a-Days. Let those Alabama high school football boys get a taste of the glitzy high life with Lauren, Audrina and the other babes in Hollywood. And let the girls get a little of the Southern gentleman treatment from those super-polite, floppy-haired Hoover High gridiron stars. Compared to those greasy louts Spencer and Brody that Lauren et al usually sleaze around with, the quiet hunkiness of Hoover's stars Ross (the handsome quarterback), DeJohn and Charlie would probably seem bizarre.

Click here to read the rest of "The Hills" and "Two-a-Days": MTV's Reality Champs

I'm going to go out on a limb and make an observation: The girls from The Hills are really just normal girls... who happen to be on a really popular TV show.

I, like most fans of The Hills, watch the show religiously and just want to be friends with Lauren, Audrina, Whitney and Heidi. So, when I went to their live finale party, you can bet I was giddy.

Click here to read the rest of The Hills Finale: Lauren, Audrina and Whitney Talk to MediaVillage

As a freelancer I am all for people staying employed at a good gig for as long as they possibly can. I say this so you can understand just how annoyed I am to want to oust someone from her job. But I do.

Click here to read the rest of MTV: Someone Fire Susie Already!

As the new Road Rules premieres next week on MTV, your eyes will be on something more than just the challenges. It will be on the clothing. Why? Because Veronica Portillo is back as a competitor, and she'll be donning her College Dropout t-shirts throughout the show. Once you see them, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.

Click here to read the rest of MTV's Road Rules Alums: Successful Business is Possible After Your 15 Minutes

If you've watched any of the Real World/Road Rules Challenges, you know who Beth Stolarczyk is. Not 100% sure? Think of the blonde haired ex-Real Worlder who has been given the name "The Evil One." And if you know who Beth is, you either love her, or you hate her.

Click here to read the rest of The Duel's Beth on Being The Evil One

For those of us who watched the first two seasons of the cult hit Laguna Beach, the general consensus is that the third season's new cast just wasn't up to par. Sure, you'd watch the reruns to see what happened in Tessa and Rocky's love lives, and you'd want to see how bitchy Kyndra was going to be.

Click here to read the rest of Laguna Beach's Dieter on His Ex Jessica and The New Cast

MTV and ABC are involved in an inverse relationship when it comes to my affections. The more I find myself wanting to throttle ABC Entertainment President Stephen McPherson, the more I want to declare my love for the programming geniuses at MTV.

Click here to read the rest of There's No Crying in The Duel