Everywhere I go someone is talking about The Hills. I put on the radio and Heidi's calling into my local radio station to plug her god awful single. I open my e-mail and someone's sending me a link to a blog Spencer wrote calling Lauren a god awful nickname. Even my dad has a thing or three to say about what's going on with the kids in La La Land.

I keep racking my brain to pinpoint specifically what nerve in the American psyche The Hills strikes to garner such a surprisingly broad response. That sounds bizarrely deep for a reality show following privileged young folks around doesn't it?

Maybe it's not so bizarre. In his time Shakespeare wrote plays for the people, not just the elite. Don't get me wrong -- Billy Shakes is my homeboy (in a good way, not the "homeboy wore cowboy boots to the beach" a la Justin Bobby way). I'm not saying The Hills will have the same impact hundreds of years from now like Shakespeare's works but I am saying they both tap into the core of human nature that we all experience. Both give us stories of betrayal, revenge, anger, greed, and most of all, love.

When I imagine being eighty, although I hope to have a husband doddering around somewhere, I know exactly which female friends of mine will be rocking on the porch with me, spraying down the neighborhood kids with a garden hose as we yell at them for being hooligans and whippersnappers. True girlfriends are supposed to be there for life regardless of which man is or isn't in the picture. Those are the relationships truly worth cultivating and prioritizing.

So when I see Heidi forsake one of her nearest and dearest girls I cannot help but go on a rant about what a terrible friend she is. This week we learn from Heidi's father that this is an old pattern for the newly-enhanced pseudo-famous blond. Heidi's mother is right to ask her wayward daughter who she would turn to if things ever went wrong with Spencer -- Heidi tries to BS some answer about knowing the girlfriends of Spencer's friends. Sure, those true blue friends will be waiting with open arms for Heidi until their boyfriends call and force them to move into an apartment and decorate it with hideous graffiti. Or something like that. Even still I see some regret on Heidi's part as she previously tried to deny that it didn't matter to her that she had lost someone she once imagined would be one of her bridesmaids.

For all of Heidi's crimes against sisterhood, I understand Lauren mourning the loss of her friendship. It feels fitting to see Lauren let out some tears at her ex-boyfriend Brody's beach party -- she can make amends with Brody much easier than with Heidi because Heidi's betrayals left deeper wounds. And if the time comes that Heidi winds up back in Lauren's good graces, I won't hold it too harshly against LC. Ex-girlfriends are much harder to break up with for good compared to ex-boyfriends.

Speaking of breakups and forgivable reconciliations, one reconnection I will have a hard time swallowing is Audrina taking back Justin Bobby, aka Johnny Depp Light. The guy ditches Audrina in Vegas but she decides to give him a second chance when the only thing I would ever consider giving him is a haircut. Then in the early stages of their second try at love he ditches her at Brody's beach party, leaving her motorcycle helmet on the couch. A devastated Audrina tells Lauren she is done with him but we all know that's not true.

The Hills demonstrates that it's not only breaking up but breaking out of unhealthy cycles that's hard to do. Heidi can't stop sacrificing her female friends at the first glimpse of a serious relationship. Audrina can't stop chasing a man who's always on the run. And poor Lauren can't stop attracting friends who lose all their rationale and charm over unspectacular boys. These girls don't need helmets to get through life, they need sledgehammers.

It looks like the girls aren't the only ones facing tough times when it comes to saving their same sex friendships. Brody and Spencer's relationship is on shaky ground as Spencer continues to choose Heidi over his bro. It looks like Spencer will no longer need his homeboy phone he so proudly showed off at the end of season two at the rate he's going. Brody and Lauren bond over their sucky friends and from the teaser for next week's episode it looks like Brody and Spencer are headed for a break up of their own. If Brody cuts the cancer that is Spencer (how ridiculous was his anti-Lauren rant complete with bug-eyed homicidal maniac face to Heidi's parents?) out of his life there may be something redeemable about the guy after all.

The one breakup I'm wishing for that will likely never happen? Spencer and Heidi get over their never-ending quest for fame and breakup with the American public, disappearing forever. A girl can dream though, can't she?

While it's no secret that I'm an ardent fan of all shows, fictional or semi-fictional, based out of Orange County, I know plenty of people who could care less about the kids out west. The following is a conversation I recently had with a friend who fits into this category:

Friend: So I was watching The O.C., no not The O.C., it was a show on MTV.

Me: You mean Laguna Beach?

Friend: Yes! Except it wasn't called Laguna Beach anymore, it was called The Hills.

Me: (laughing) That's right and wrong. The Hills follows around one of the girls who originally appeared on Laguna Beach but it's its own show.

Friend: Whatever it's called, even though they talk about absolutely nothing important I can't stop analyzing and thinking about it.

The power of The Hills is just that strong that it can suck almost anyone into its void of frivolousness. The premiere of the third season definitely did not dampen the addictiveness of The Hills. In fact, within the first five minutes the show reminded us that Lauren is famous now even though she's not really doing anything above and beyond other girls her age. She's an intern -- sure, she's at Teen Vogue which is cooler than interning at a financial firm or something -- but she's still an intern with her own reality show. The first big news we learn about Lauren's life before the cameras came back on this season is that rumors Heidi and Spencer either created and/or helped to spread were flying that Lauren and Jason made a sex tape together. The rumors wound up on the internet and on the computer screens of plenty of Laguna Beach natives including Lauren's mother.

Let's take a look at Lauren's terrible friends. First we have Jen Bunny who hooked up with Lauren's ex Brody Jenner not too long after Lauren had him. That's a big no-no. The unwritten code of women definitely dictates that your best female friend of fifteen years wins out over a potential one night stand with a guy who happens to be said best friend's very recent ex-boyfriend. In the first episode of the new season of The Hills, Jen is now listed as "Heidi's Friend", not Lauren's. Serves her right.

Then there's Heidi. Oh, Heidi. I don't even know where to start. The girl lives in her own world where it's all right to fall off the face of the earth as far as your friends are concerned, spread rumors about them (and even if she didn't start the sex tape rumor she didn't even check in with her alleged best friend to see how she was coping with the whole ordeal) and then pop up out of the blue with invites to your housewarming party. I should also mention that Heidi lives in this world with Spencer who is currently rocking the Justin Timberlake fro from J.T.'s *NSync days circa 2000 because Spencer's hair seems to have grown with his ego. Heidi's friends don't like Spencer and never wanted Heidi to move into the soon-to-be-warmed house with him so is it any shock that they all bail out on the party? No.

Heidi, you are not a good friend. Do not get so up in arms when you are treated in kind. And if you want to give someone a letter about how you feel, mail it to her. There is no need to make a whole spectacle of giving Lauren a letter in the middle of a club when all the girl wants to do is have a good time. Oh yeah, and please do not listen to your idiotic boyfriend and corner Lauren to confront her and then act surprised when she starts yelling at you. It's stupid. Lauren obviously wanted to avoid making a scene by trying to escape before she really lost it but Heidi kept carrying on. I'm not a fan of big public outbursts myself but I understand Lauren did what had to be done.

Before I can continue on about Lauren's other friends I really need to do a little more venting about Spencer. He skeeves me out. There is nothing about him that feels genuine, and while I know some of that might be attributed to the magic of editing I think MTV would throw the guy a freakin' bone once in awhile if there were any redeeming qualities to him. Even watching him buy an engagement ring and propose to Heidi in the second episode (MTV was good enough to let us go on a Hills binge with two new episodes back-to-back) brought a little bile up in the back of my throat. With a gorgeous ocean backdrop and a huge shiny ring his proposal still came off as even more superficial than the time Danny from Real World: Austin threw that diamond rock MTV paid for onto his cast mate Melinda's finger during a Reunion special -- the two are no longer engaged for anyone who was wondering. It comes as no surprise to me that Spencer would go for a cheap ring as a symbol of his shallow love. The guy couldn't even ask Heidi properly and he made her put the ring on her hand herself! This is totally an epic love for the ages. I honestly believe if it weren't for the cameras Spencer would have broken it off with Heidi for good a long time ago. Even worse than sex tape rumors, I've heard that MTV may be considering starting up their Newlyweds series again with Heidi and Spencer filling in for Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson. Ugh.

Before I have to really go and stick my head in the toilet with all this Spencer talk, back to Lauren's friends. Whitney landed the job at Teen Vogue and is now Lauren's boss, but more importantly she's the kind of good friend who tells you that the random guy you are talking to at the bar is not good looking when you are too drunk to figure it out yourself. Not that Lauren listened but still, I appreciated Whitney's effort. To add onto the awesomeness of having Whitney still in the picture, Lo is back and living in L.A.! Lo is one of Lauren's best friends from Laguna Beach (both the show and the town) and is one of my all-time favorite people on reality TV. She is too cute for words and has the right mix of sensibility, humor and loyalty to be a real true friend. For Lauren's sake, I'm glad she has these two in her life.

If you watch the show you might be wondering why I didn't add Audrina, Lauren's new roommate and Heidi-replacement, to the list of good friends for Lauren. That's because I'm on the fence about her. I really like Audrina and I thought she was great in the first episode I saw by outright stating that she was backing up Lauren in whatever way she chose to deal with Heidi. Then in the second episode Audrina gets wrapped up in an old flame named Justin (but his friends call him Bobby and Lo starts referring to him as Justin Bobby) who apparently ditched Audrina during a trip the two took to Vegas some time ago. Audrina forgets her plans to go out with Lauren and Lo after her date with Justin Bobby because she wants to go with him instead. This threw up huge red flags for me -- Audrina may very well be on her way to pulling a Heidi and leaving Lauren in the dust while she rides off on the back of Justin Bobby's motorcycle. However, I am willing to wait it out before I make a final verdict on Audrina since that's what Lauren is doing by not coming down on her roomie for giving the guy a second chance.

If all else fails, at least Lauren always has her spectacular home and mother in Laguna Beach to fall back on. Whatever happens, I'll be watching. It's impossible not to.

After eighteen seasons everyone knows The Real World drill -- seven strangers get thrown into an unbelievably awesome house where they will proceed to drink themselves silly, hook up without a STD care in the world, scream, fight, and very likely have at least one run-in with the law. By now these things are a given and a rite of passage for those cast members who want to move on to the true glory of The Real World/Road Rules Challenge show. To use The Price is Right as a metaphor, landing a spot on The Real World is now nothing more than making it down to the Contestants' Row. No one really cares about you until you've got a shot at spinning the Big Wheel and partaking in the Showcase Showdown.

At least that's how I watch The Real World these days. I know I have to get through a whole season in order to have a new batch of people to throw into the Challenge mix. That said, I didn't have any lofty expectations for the nineteenth season of The Real World taking place in Sydney, Australia. You might wonder why I bother watching at all with that outlook. I blame Eric Nies. Ever since he took his shirt off that first time back in 1992 on The Real World's inaugural season in New York I was hypnotized. I was also eleven and already hormonal so that might have had something to do with it too.

KellyAnne wasn't the only one with her...eyes on Dunbar. Parisa fell for him from minute one as well. Parisa did score big points in my book when Trisha tried making passive-aggressive comments about cleaning up the kitchen, one of which included saying she was irritated, and Parisa responded: "do you want some ointment for that?" However, even if I like Parisa way more than KellyAnne, she should not act so crushed that Dunbar isn't romantically interested in her. THEY JUST MET. There is no reason to get so possessive over the guy, even if he is a psychology genius by the way he diagnosed the problems the girls were having with each other in the house as "vaginal insecurities". I even liked him a little more when he point blank said that he had yet to meet a girl in Australia worth leaving his girlfriend for right in front of KellyAnne. The look of shock and disappointment on her face was priceless.

The girls have it all wrong anyway. My favorite person in the house right now is Cohutta, a true-blue Georgian country boy who says "dang", "darlin'", and hugs horses. He is too wide-eyed and adorable for words, kind of like this puppy I used to have. I loved listening him talk to his Grandpa on the phone and I really hope I don't wind up hating him by the end of this.

All in all, the new kids on the block had a relatively tame first few nights in Sydney compared to seasons past. There were no threesomes, not even any hot tub hookups. Isaac and Shauvon had a hilarious makeout session (that may or may not have included some unzipping of pants) in the confessional but that was it. The girls even looked sensible by the end of the episode as they talked out their differences and earlier disagreements. Then MTV so kindly played the super teaser for the season to come filled with--you guessed it--drinking, hooking up, screaming and fighting galore. Some things just never change.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

No, I'm not talking about Charles Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities, I'm talking about the trials and tribulations of my favorite Real World kids in Vegas. Although after last night's episode, maybe I should flip that as the worst times came before the best. Or maybe I should quote War and Peace instead or...hell, I give up.

Why do I feel the need to reference lofty (and lengthy) literature when it comes to the latest installment of Reunited? Because Irulan and Arissa treated the whole fall-out from the liver-damaging boozefest that was last week's Bachelor/Bachelorette parties Take Two as though they had been forced to pull themselves out of the trenches by their bootstraps and deserved medals for their heroism.

In a hotel tower not too far away, instead of a war council we found Trishelle, Steven and Frank having a drunken slumber party. It still doesn't feel right for me to admit this but I was so relieved to see them. Frank might have been an ass but his gleaking (yes, there's that word AGAIN in case you hadn't heard enough between the last two episodes) and destructiveness didn't seem as terrible as Irulan and Arissa made them out to be. Plus, those three are way more fun and oddly enough, Trishelle and Steven were sounding like the voices of reason in the matter. Even Alton appealed to me when he later added that the more you tried to help and care for Irulan and Arissa, the more incensed they would become because they are simply that crazy.

Now, before anyone brings up Arissa's belief that these drunken antics could lead to a night where the boys get violent with her and not some mugs, I really can't see that ever happening. I know people are capable of a lot of things when they are drunk but Frank and Steven seem way more interested in horsing around with each other and finding women outside of their suite to play with. They are happy-go-lucky guys, Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber, out to enjoy the free vacation MTV has given them.

Although the rest of the gang could care less for Arissa's antics, I did love Steven's rationale about why she had to stay: "It's the story of seven strangers, not six!" He even held out the fingers on his hands so we could count along with him. His Captain Obvious logic cracked me up.

After hours in their very own war council, Irulan and Arissa decided to call a truce with their cast mates who didn't care either way. These girls aren't quitters! They could stick it out and live in an amazing suite and hang out at a fabulous pool for another week and a half! Truly inspiring, aren't they?

In the ultimate show of peace and reconciliation, Arissa brought a white flag of her own making. That's right. She broke out...her lasagna. I got a little misty eyed at the offer. Trishelle and Alton were happy enough to gobble up the tasty dish even as they told the camera in the Confessional how ridiculous it was to apologize via noodles and sauce. I have to agree with them on that one.

Even though they were back, Irulan made sure to show off her war wounds (yes, the tiny bump on her leg STILL hurt, it's a miracle she's even walking!) to Frank to remind him of the dangers of gleaking and encourage him to channel his rage into tae bo. It looks like Frank has learned something in the last five years--instead of explaining to the returning soldiers why they were wrong to blow everything out of proportion and laugh in Irulan's face at her suggestion he sucked it up and apologized so that everyone could move on with their day. He even managed to smile and sound sincere while he did it.

As if the good times couldn't be any sweeter, the Vegas kids found out The Palms was throwing a premiere party for Trishelle's new film, Ninja Cheerleaders, in her honor. Having kissed and made up, everyone put on their finest and hit the party. I liked how Trishelle was trying to downplay the fact that it was essentially her party and that she was into the movie being campy and silly. Steven was beaming from ear to ear sitting next to Trishelle during the party. I imagine he was thinking: "I so did it with a movie star! She might not have been one then, but she is now!" I also really enjoyed the surprise ninja attack on the party and the little show they put on. I totally want to hire those guys for my wedding reception one day because nothing makes people happier than ninjas!

For now all is well with the Vegas crew. I can't wait to see how long that won't last for.

In several hours I will be boarding a plane for my first trip to Las Vegas. Not only that, but I will be staying at Palms Casino and Resort -- yes, the very same hotel where Real World put up seven strangers five years ago and brought them back together for three weeks this past April to film Reunited: Real World Vegas. With no idea what to expect of my trip, I eagerly watched this week's episode hoping to pick up some helpful tips. This is what I learned:

2. If after the strippers leave you still want to watch someone dance in their underwear, make sure you have invited one person to the party who has spent time practicing on a dance pole. Plan ahead to ensure you in fact have a stripper pole behind a glass wall in your suite to fully enhance your experience.

3. If you end up needing to do some pole dancing yourself, keep those toes pointed! It's all about the toes apparently (thanks for the tip, Trishelle!)

4. Follow Frank's guide to drinking yourself silly: Consume as much alcohol as possible until you are falling down drunk and mauling equally intoxicated women with your mouth. Then, when you think you are close to puking but you don't want to put the alcohol away, just start pouring it out all over the floor around you. Break some bottles for good measure while you're at it. You are a party machine and everyone needs to know it!

5. Gleaking on someone is not the same as spitting on them. Gleaking involves taking a sip of clean, refreshing water and sprinkling it down with the grace of the garden fountains of Versailles on a friend. It is not the same as hocking a loogie. Phlegm is for peasants. Gleaking is a fine art.

Now, if you have never heard the term "gleaking", welcome to the club. I never knew about it either until Frank made sure to say it after every other word while explaining how Irulan overreacted when he spit/spouted water at her (depending on how you look at it) during the second bachelor and bachelorette parties the Real World kids threw for Brynn and her husband Austin. I missed the initial explanation as to exactly why two married people were being treated to parties meant to celebrate the end of their single days but, well, it's Vegas, do you really need an excuse to party?

Back to Frank and Irulan. Although I think Frank was too drunk for everyone's good, I am inclined to agree with him. Irulan chased him all over the suite until she rammed into a table and fell. She made a big ordeal of showing Frank her HUGE injury (she had a small mark on her leg, there wasn't even any blood) while screaming "I hope it was worth it!" Then, when Alton tried to comfort her she got into a huge argument with him that somehow ended with her yelling at him too about how he's the big star and she's nothing. WHAT? Alton might be a dirty bird but I never got the impression that he was patronizing her. He seemed sincere, especially because he wasn't looking to get back into her pants.

I almost want to write Irulan off as crazy for her behavior but surprisingly enough, Trishelle provided some good insight into the situation. Gleak or not, the situation brought Irulan and Alton together. They may have broken up over two years ago but they still have some unresolved issues as most couples do. Living with an ex could drive anyone insane. In that light, although I think she needs to not run away from everything the way she threatened to at the end of the episode, I can understand why she would lash out. It's less about the gleak and more about the three weeks in an unnatural situation.

Irulan wasn't the only one who wanted out at the end of the night because of Frank. After Frank decided to redecorate the suite by dousing it in beer and covering it in broken glass, Arissa came home and flipped out. I still hold that something is a little off about Arissa but I can't fault her for this one. I wouldn't want to come home to that kind of mess either, especially since its highly unlikely Frank will clean it up. However, is it worth leaving the show over? Not really. She took off as well to the comfort of a slot machine. I haven't quite figured out where she and Irulan planned on sleeping so I can only add this last bit of wisdom from the Vegas crew to my list:

6. When in doubt, hit the casino.

I'll be sure to have a drink or twenty in honor of the Vegas cast this week while swirling round my stripper pole with my toes pointed up.

In the same breath that I just lambasted MTV for degrading their Real World franchise by allowing the crazed masses to elect the last cast mate for the upcoming season, I have to also praise The Powers That Be for elevating the series to a whole new level with Reunited: Real World Vegas.

While we do get the occasional one-episode reunion show every few years to catch up with our old friends as well as seeing some favorites year in and year out over on Road Rules/Real World Challenge, MTV has really outdone itself here. For one thing, I'm amazed they were able to get every single member of a cast to agree to put their lives under the microscope once more, knowing full-well what to expect after the first go-around. I would have loved to have seen exactly what type of negotiations had to be made to get everyone on board as there have been several former cast members who have distanced themselves as far away as possible from Real World (I don't think we'll ever know what became of Dominic from Los Angeles or Kaia from Hawaii).

As soon as I found out about Reunited: Real World Vegas, I wanted to bust out with Peaches & Herb's "Reunited". In the middle of Sin City, the Vegas kids had a very difficult time saying no to things that felt so good five years ago. Trishelle and Steven had unprotected sex everywhere they could, Brynn go-go danced her heart away when she wasn't busy throwing forks, and Frank caused a major uproar when he could not resist the temptation to make out with a girl in the Confessional.

And then there was Alton.

While on the various Challenges Alton has proven himself a king amongst men with his superhuman physical prowess and level-headed rationale, upon watching the recap of his Real World origins, I was reminded of how shady he can be. As Irulan put it five years ago, Alton is the original "dirty bird" -- and this coming from a woman who was willing to break up with her then-boyfriend for the guy.

Besides not being able to resist Irulan five years ago, Alton also could not pass up the chance to brag about having a threesome during the cast's vacation in Australia. Even though he later denied it and continues to deny it to this day, MTV has audio of him outright telling Steven about having his first threesome that same night. He had no reason to make up that kind of lie--Irulan was open to having a real relationship with him and the guys already thought he was cool without the story. Little did we know that his inability to step up and take responsibility for his sexual encounters then would be a precursor for the drama that would later rock the Trinity that was Alton, Irulan and their closest friend, Arissa.

Although the fact that Alton and Irulan would eventually break up after three years of being together was common knowledge thanks to Alton's subsequent appearances on The Gauntlet II, the fact that both Alton and Irulan had a falling out with Arissa while they were still a couple was not revealed until Reunited. In no time at all Arissa and Irulan began to verbally duke it out in the middle of Ghostbar and give us quite the three-sided story about an incident that happened four years ago:

Arissa's Version: While spending time with the couple, Alton followed her into a bathroom and tried to make a move on her. Arissa turned him down.

Alton's Version: Arissa was the one who made a move on him in the bathroom. He turned her down and told Irulan what had happened.

Irulan's Version: She wasn't in the bathroom so she can't say for sure what happened. She believed Alton's side of the story at the time.

This is why you should always have a camera crew with you to capture these controversial moments in your life.

While I think something has definitely happened to Arissa in the last five years to make her a little mentally unstable, I have to take her side in this story. When she confronted Alton after all this time he practically laughed off the accusation. His grin was very aptly described as one of the sh*t-eating variety. Arissa on the other hand was outraged at how her character had been called into question about the incident which was the kind of response I would have expected from Alton if his version was the truthful one. Arissa lost her best friend and was accused of violating the code of women by going after said best friend's man--of course she is still pissed.

I could try to understand why Alton would have lied back when the incident first happened. People have momentary lapses in judgment. Maybe he realized he made a mistake the very moment he made a move on Arissa. Suddenly having an epiphany of just how much Irulan meant to him and how he would hate to lose her and ruin his friendship with Arissa over such stupidity, Alton vowed never to do anything to jeopardize his relationships. A reformed man, he decided it made no sense to upset Irulan about something that would never happen again. In a moment of cowardice, he ratted Arissa out before she could tell Irulan the truth, but he did it with the best of intentions.

That's my very Hollywood version of what could have happened and even there I would have to stretch to give Alton the benefit of the doubt. Regardless, seeing as he and Irulan are no longer together, when Irulan and Arissa called a truce in the second episode he should have been man enough to come forth with the truth and apologize.

Yes, I'm sure one of you out there is saying he shouldn't have to apologize because he was telling the truth the first time around. And to you I ask, do you want to buy a bridge?

When I reviewed all the TV networks' Web sites recently, MTV's Overdrive was Billy Ray Cyrus to NBC Rewind's Joey Fatone. Balky, with hard-to-decipher graphics and slow-to-load video streams of its series and "after-shows," MTV's was a site that caused sore eyes.

Click here to read the rest of MTV Web Site Redesign: Way to Rock!

This has been an awesome week in TV for me and it's not even Thursday night!

I was out of the country last week so when I came home from Switzerland on Sunday to new episodes of The Sopranos and Entourage I was beyond stoked. I got so blindsided by their premieres that I completely forgot the return of the all-time greatest reality show was also happening this week.

That's right, folks, MTV's Real World/Road Rules Challenge is back with a third season of The Inferno and I can barely control myself.

Click here to read the rest of Hurry Up and Light That Fire: The Inferno Returns!

My dream: A crossover episode between MTV's The Hills and Two-a-Days. Let those Alabama high school football boys get a taste of the glitzy high life with Lauren, Audrina and the other babes in Hollywood. And let the girls get a little of the Southern gentleman treatment from those super-polite, floppy-haired Hoover High gridiron stars. Compared to those greasy louts Spencer and Brody that Lauren et al usually sleaze around with, the quiet hunkiness of Hoover's stars Ross (the handsome quarterback), DeJohn and Charlie would probably seem bizarre.

Click here to read the rest of "The Hills" and "Two-a-Days": MTV's Reality Champs

I'm going to go out on a limb and make an observation: The girls from The Hills are really just normal girls... who happen to be on a really popular TV show.

I, like most fans of The Hills, watch the show religiously and just want to be friends with Lauren, Audrina, Whitney and Heidi. So, when I went to their live finale party, you can bet I was giddy.

Click here to read the rest of The Hills Finale: Lauren, Audrina and Whitney Talk to MediaVillage

As a freelancer I am all for people staying employed at a good gig for as long as they possibly can. I say this so you can understand just how annoyed I am to want to oust someone from her job. But I do.

Click here to read the rest of MTV: Someone Fire Susie Already!

As the new Road Rules premieres next week on MTV, your eyes will be on something more than just the challenges. It will be on the clothing. Why? Because Veronica Portillo is back as a competitor, and she'll be donning her College Dropout t-shirts throughout the show. Once you see them, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.

Click here to read the rest of MTV's Road Rules Alums: Successful Business is Possible After Your 15 Minutes

If you've watched any of the Real World/Road Rules Challenges, you know who Beth Stolarczyk is. Not 100% sure? Think of the blonde haired ex-Real Worlder who has been given the name "The Evil One." And if you know who Beth is, you either love her, or you hate her.

Click here to read the rest of The Duel's Beth on Being The Evil One

For those of us who watched the first two seasons of the cult hit Laguna Beach, the general consensus is that the third season's new cast just wasn't up to par. Sure, you'd watch the reruns to see what happened in Tessa and Rocky's love lives, and you'd want to see how bitchy Kyndra was going to be.

Click here to read the rest of Laguna Beach's Dieter on His Ex Jessica and The New Cast

MTV and ABC are involved in an inverse relationship when it comes to my affections. The more I find myself wanting to throttle ABC Entertainment President Stephen McPherson, the more I want to declare my love for the programming geniuses at MTV.

Click here to read the rest of There's No Crying in The Duel