They had a roast of each finalist. It consisted of the Last Comic Standing All-Stars - Roz, Doug Benson, Chris Porter, Tammy Pascatelli, Jeffrey Ross, Alonzo Bodden and probably someone else I am forgetting. But roast Lavell they did! I liked Doug Benson's "Look at Lavell Crawford. I know, I know, it takes a while" and "He's the Jabba the Hutt of comedy." But the best line may have been from Chris Porter. "A lot of people don't know this man and Roz have a child together. You may know it best as the closest planet to the sun." I also liked Alonzo's "Soon as Lavell made the finals, comedy clubs across the country started reinforcing their stages, saying 'Here he comes.'" Tammy got a good shot in with "I am not going to take any cheap shots at you because you're an easy target. I mean...literally. Lavell got shot in front of his house in St. Louis by a man standing in front of his house in Kansas City at the time."

But, Lavell had a good response to all of them. "Y'all talk about me being fat. I knew I was fat when I walked up here." Then he told Doug Benson he had a "great big ass head. I swear to God if you leaned your neck back, I bet candy pop out of it." Then he added, "I only gonna talk about the people that got laughs, so Roz you safe."

We saw two minutes of the other eight contestants from the Top Ten. No, not two minutes each, NBC couldn't afford that. The comedians lined up and they went down the line with each comic getting to say a one-liner. Wow, thanks NBC. It was nice to see my two favorites, Debra DiGiovanni and Matt Kirshen though. And again, Doug Benson, with whom with I have had a love/hate relationship, cracked me up. "If ANT is so gay, how come it isn't pronounced Aunt?"

Robert Schimmel had me literally crying with this story about the roller coaster. I should have written it all down, but I was just laughing too hard!

Then we saw the roast of Jon. Alonzo said, "After seeing how white people live in Hickory, segregation don't sound bad." Chris Porter told Jon "You're the Britney Spears of comedy. What's coming out of your mouth is garbage, but I like the way you move." Jeffrey Ross said, "I always wondered what happened to the banjo player from Deliverance." Jon's rely to them was "It's a real who's who of who the hell is that?" and "Would have nice if they had gotten some actual celebrities, but you guys did a good job."

Finally, we saw the farewell performances. Lavell was funny with "I ain't afraid of dying fat. Hell, that's my pall bearer's worry." I loved it when he was talking about going through security at the airport and having to take off his shoes. "As big as I am, you think if I had explosives in my shoes they'd a went off soon as I stood up. Kaboom, oh that plot done been foiled." Then he did the bit about the seatbelt that I love.

Jon did a hilarious routine about a football referee. Then he talked about the fresh pepper guy at restaurants and wondered when the fresh salt guy would be coming around. "I'm on the Atkins. I can't have rice flavored salt!"

After Dane Cook appeared apparently only to plug his new movie "Good Luck Chuck," the winner was announced. I was honestly shocked to hear Jon's name called. I really thought Lavell had it in the bag. But, throughout tonight, Lavell looked a bit tense. When the other comics were roasting him, he smiled, but no one really cracked him up. Jon, on the other hand, seems to be a clown 24/7. He howled while being roasted. I just figured if he had lost, he would have taken it better than Lavell seemed to. Plus it was sad that in Lavell's last words, he promised to tithe to his churches.

But, both guys were funny and hopefully both will have long careers ahead of them.

They had a "best one liner" challenge between the three remaining contestants (Gerry, Jon, and Lavell). Some of the jokes were funny. Gerry said the best contraception for old people was nudity. Lavell followed that up with "Wanna practice safe sex? See me naked" to which the audience roared. Jon said he knew a midget with only one ball. "He was a bit testy." Lavell followed that up with "Midget stole my girlfriend, now I'm a bit testy." I liked Jon's "What do you call an Italian chef who smokes a lot of weed? A pastafarian." I was a bit disappointed that many of the one-liners were not one-liners. Both Gerry and Lavell tried to go on and on with one joke. In the end, it was Lavell that won the challenge and took home the trophy.

I loved it when Gilbert Gottfried asked Lavell if he didn't win, would he make this a black/white thing. Lavell's response was "Yes, I will. I have Al Sharpton on speed dial right now."

Kathleen Madigan performed. She had some good lines about crystal meth. "I will never do a drug that involves rednecks and science." As to why so many labs kept blowing up, she said, "You got Scooter and Moron out in the shed trying to do chemistry. They don't have a GED between the two of them." I also liked her bit about turning illegal immigration into a reality show. "Vote people in and vote people out."

Finally, the moment came when we would hear the name of the first comedian moving on. Jon Reep was mouthing "Lavell Crawford, Lavell Crawford" when his name was called. Lavell not only looked pissed off, he gave Jon a golf clap.

Greg Proops from "Who's Line Is It Anyhow?" performed next. I liked his routine about people saying Barack Obama was not black enough. "How black did you want him to be?" "Notice how the rims keep spinning long after the leader of the free world has brought his vehicle to a halt."

Gilbert Gottfried came on next. Gilbert's material was a bit dated. Calista Flockhart and Harrison Ford? Is anyone still talking about them? It was funny when he said he saw Calista at a restaurant trying to get something out of her teeth. "I said 'Toothpick' and she said 'Jew!'"

Then, the last name was announced. I don't know why Lavell was still looking pissed off. Maybe he seriously thought he didn't have a chance against Gerry. Or maybe he was so nervous he just stopped breathing and was about to pass out. But, his mood lightened when his name was called. I felt sorry for Gerry. I had hoped it would be Jon and Lavell in the finals but when Gerry chocked up and started crying, it was sad. He seems like a nice guy and there were some of his jokes that just totally cracked me up. Maybe getting this far in the show will help improve his career.

For the final performances, Jon's set seemed to be much shorter than Lavell's was. He did a bit about his dad's snoring. I had to laugh - it reminded me of my dad! The snoring in the chair, then yelling "Turn that back, I was watching that" was so true! And the joke about snoring in church was funny too.

Lavell did a great joke about ordering chicken at a fast food place. When he asked for the 25 pieces of chicken, four sides, and a large drink, the cashier asked him "For here or to go?" "I appreciate you thinking I can knock out 25 pieces of chicken, four sides, and a large drink in one setting, but don't you think if I was to eat all that much chicken, I'd wanna do it in private? You think I'm gonna sit up in this restaurant so y'all can sell tickets? 'Come one, come all and look at the Great E-tor as he knocks out 25 pieces of chicken, four sides, and a large drink in one setting. He putting the meat in one side of his mouth and spitting the bones out the other. He's on his 14th piece and he's not tired yet.'"

After a set like that, I think Lavell will be crowned the champion next week.

The first comedian's name to be announced to move on in the competition was Gerry Dee. My immediate thought was "Someone's smoking crack." In my opinion, Gerry did not have a good set last week, but apparently, someone liked it because the viewers voted him into the final three. I loved it when he tried to move after his name was called and Amy gave him the "you wait right there Mister!" hand. Tonight, I found him to be funnier than last week. It was funny when he was talking about the difference between men and women when drinking and driving. He said he can have five drinks and his wife can have a shooter, but she will not drive home because she has been drinking. I laughed aloud when he was talking about using OnStar when he had been drinking. His "Can you tell me how to get home using just the side streets?" and "If you can see cops from your satellite, can you route me around them?" were classic. And his bits about one girl always crying in a crowd and some men denying that they have ever been to a strip club were cute, but also very true!

The next name called was Lavell. He talked about visiting the doctor for a chest cold and the doctor wanting to check his anal cavity. "Can your finger reach my chest from my anal cavity? Cause if it can, you need to change professions. At least let me pick the finger. Ain't gonna be that class ring." Said he walked into the doctor for a chest cold and came out with diabetes and he was "mad as hell." "Gotta eat oatmeal without flavor - might as well eat the box." And mentioned how he had to change his diet. "When I order a diet coke, they repeat it like they cannot believe it. ‘Diet Coke?' You heard me the first time." That joke had some poor woman in the audience crying! I also like when he told his mama he had "the sugar."

There were just two comedians left - Jon Reep and Amy Schumer - and only one spot. Amy looked so cute, going all "Top Model" on us with her straightened hair, it was a shame with Jon's name was called to move on. But honestly, I think Jon is funnier. Again, this week, he had me crying with laughter at some of his routine. Maybe it is because I am a southerner, but I loved his "Its not easy living in LA and being from the south. People think you are an idiot. Don't know where they get that idea." He told a story about changing brake shoes with an Uncle and that brakes have asbestos in them. He did a great imitation of his uncle smoking a cigarette and saying, "Get back stupid, that stuff will give you cancer." What really had me crying was his story about how his dad used to be a cop and one day Jon caught him primping in the mirror with his gun. The gun went off in his dad's hand while he was giving the "This is not a toy" speech and he shot a hole in the waterbed. I love his impersonation of his mom kicking in the door with a gun to ask what happened. Jon said he was deaf from the noise. "I can't hear Mama. Daddy killed the bed."

I think it is Gerry's week to go home (but I thought that last week). I think the final will be between Lavell and Jon. Honestly, I started out on Team Lavell, but the last couple of weeks, Jon has really been making me laugh as much if not more than Lavell.

Last week, people from all over the world voted for their favorite comedian. Okay, people from Canada, Australia, the UK, and the US voted. The first of the final five to be told they would be moving on was Gerry Dee. I thought "Rightfully so" as Gerry was the funniest comic last week. The keyword in that sentence is "last week." Wait that is two words. Anyhow, Gerry was only mildly amusing this week. He started out with "I used to be a teacher..." I have noticed that many of his jokes start that way. His joke about how it was hard to be a teacher and go to work with a hangover was cute. Just cute. I noticed the camera guy panned to a girl in the audience and she had the slightest smile on her face, her lips turned up just a bit. That is how I felt during Gerry's set. I wasn't sure what the story was about him and his class project partner taping their penis' together. I guess maybe it was funny, I don't know, I lost interest somewhere along the way.

The next comedian to be told they would be going to the final four was Lavell. Lavell used to crack me up. I mean just have me rolling. I still remember the seat belt bit - I smile just thinking about it. But somewhere along the way, either Lavell got less funny or I lost my sense of humor. Last week, I was a bit disappointed with his set. The same goes for this week. He talked about how him mom moved him from the ghetto to a predominantly white neighborhood. Said they had to do predominantly white things like tape their penis' together (good pick up on Gerry's joke). But then he started a joke about joining the Boy Scouts that just went on and on and on. The final punch line was amusing. His scout leader told him if he came upon a bear in the woods, he should play dead. So he went and found a grizzly and asked him if he played dead, would the grizzly ignore him like the scout leader said. The bear said "Let me put it into a perspective that you can understand. Say you came across a picnic basket - box of Popeye's chicken, red beans and rice, and coleslaw and a large strawberry soda. Would you eat it? Case closed Mr. Bear." It was funny, it didn't make me laugh out loud, but at least he reached a funny ending to the seemingly never ending story.

Amy's name was called next. I was fine with that, she makes me laugh sometimes. But tonight was not one of those times. She talked about dating a mime and said he wouldn't let her get close to him, it was like there was a wall between them - he didn't think outside the box. I am thinking this is the type of joke that would not have gotten her pass her audition. Then she talked about her deaf boyfriend, about how they had phone sex, but they had to use a relay service. Yawn. Her joke about how her sister's husband (I guess it was her husband, I never remember her using the word "husband") was color blind and every once in a while they would go "Look, it's a rainb...oh" made me smile. Not laugh, but smile.

It was down to Jon Reep and Ralph Harris. If you remember from my last blog, I predicted Ralph would go home this week. And right I was! Ralph Harris, who sent home two of my favorites in head-to-head competition - Debra and Matt - was sent home. There is just no justice in this world.

It was left up to Jon to make me laugh and I don't know whether he was really that funny or I was just desperate for a giggle. But he did give me my first and I think only out loud laugh with a joke about how small town people are creative and most folk songs were written by small town people, but they don't make much sense anymore. "Jimmy crack corn. But I don't care." "Sounds like an inner city hillbilly drug problem. 'Did you hear what happened to Jimmy? He is stuck on that crack corn. But I don't care.'" The he mentioned nursery rhymes. He did Rock-a-bye Baby. "'And down will come baby...cradle and all! Good night son' 'Mama, daddy's on crack corn."

So you tell me readers...did you think the comedians were hilarious tonight? Was it just me? I am just feeling disillusioned at this point. If I had to say who was going home next week, I would pick Gerry. But then he probably has all of Canada voting for him, so who knows?

First up was Lavell. He was okay. I have loved Lavell since his first audition, but tonight, he was didn't crack me up like he usually does. Maybe it was the migraine I was suffering from. He did a bit about working in fast food, which, given his size, was funny in and of itself. "Can I get a double happy burger?" "We fresh out of double happy burgers." "You didn't even look!" "I know we fresh out of double happy burgers." And his bit about his hard working friend Jose was funny. Talked about if Jose had been a slave, Lavell would have been sent back to Africa. "We got Jose, his wife, and his mother-in-law and they picking all the cotton in the South." But his best bit of the night was probably the one about his school crossing guard uniform. Said with the orange vest and orange pants, he looked like a construction barrel. Said he used to go out on the highway and scare the hell out of drivers. "I'd be like 'Slow down!' They'd be like 'Dude, put that weed out.' 'Why?' 'I think that barrel just said something to me.'"

Jon Reep performed next. He cracked me up when he was talking about how to deal with a guy in the store who is being too loud on his cell phone. He said just act like you are listening in until the guy says "Can I have a little privacy?" "No, because you are in public! That's how the system works. In fact, your privacy is invading our public. Why don't you go somewhere so we can have a little public around here." I also loved his "I'd marry beer if I could" routine. "Would you beer, take me to be your awfully hammered husband...until DUI do us part?" I liked his beer math too. I am terrible at math - terrible I tell you, but during college, I could do beer math!

Ralph Harris - I don't know what it is about Ralph Harris, but when I watch his set, he is a little funny, but I think it must all be physical humor because I never am able to write down much of his routine so I can blog about it later. He talked about a family reunion with his aunt's arm fat getting in the gravy and his drunk uncle. That's about all I got out of it, sorry Ralph.

Amy talked about her mom and that she had been married four times. Each time her mom remarried, they changed cultures. She started out as a protestant from Ohio and now she was a Jew from Long Island. "Girls, we are Hindu now."

Finally, the last comic up was Gerry Dee. While I had had a few silent chuckles to myself during the night, no one really just made me laugh aloud. And I have to be honest; I didn't have much hope with Gerry being the only comic left. This is Gerry's third shot at "Last Comic Standing." He auditioned for season two and didn't make it to Hollywood. He auditioned for season four and made it to Hollywood, but no further. And frankly, I've never found Gerry to be that funny. But tonight, I thought he was the funniest comedian. I loved his routine about being a waiter and serving decaf - "Are you allergic to caffeine?" "No, I just don't want to be up late" "Here you go, enjoy painting your house at 2 o'clock in the morning."

Then Gerry started in about his recent wedding. Said you should get the presents first, then base that person's meal on the present they gave you (funny and yet, a bit true!). He had a good bit about the 2-liter gravy boat they got. "How did they come up with that? It's not like we went out to dinner with them two weeks before the wedding and I ordered 17 sides of gravy." And "One couple gave us $45. How do you come up with that denomination? 'Let's give them $40.' 'No, that is not enough.' 'Let's give them $50.' 'So what? Are we made of money all the sudden?' Or maybe they gave us $50, but realized on the way to the wedding 'Oh, we gotta get a card.'" I also cracked up when he was talking about how Scottish fathers differ from North American fathers. "I heard a five year old kid talk back to his father and the father said 'I've just about had enough." Just about? That means you can be an ass for a few more minutes." Said his Scottish dad described what he was going to do as if it was a movie. "Do you see this fist? I'm gonna smash this fist right through your face. Then I am gonna take your face and smash it against that wall." I was rolling in my chair.

And there you have it, the top five. Who will be going home? I know he's been on a roll, winning to head-to-head competitions (much to my dismay), but I think it may be Ralph.

Last Comic Standing...people of California...you are killing me. I told Joe DeVito that I think I am personally jinxing my favorite comedians on the show. I liked him, he left. I liked Debra Digiovanni, she left. I liked...oh wait, let me tell you about the show before I tell you who left tonight.

It was the last challenge and it was a bit of a lame one if you ask me. NBC, apparently in hopes to plug another one of their shows, brought in 5 of the Deal or No Deal girls. The challenge was speed laughing. Each comic had one minute in a booth with each model in an attempt to get her to laugh. Then, they had to move on to the next model. But those crafty Last Comic Standing producers, they had a trick up their sleeves. They decided to replace the last three models with surprise guests: a drag queen named Jackie Beat, a nun named Sister Rose, and Twinkie the Clown. Hey, I think I remember seeing Sister Rose on 1 vs. 100. Anyhow, Ralph bombed with the first model. Not only could he not tell a joke, he seemed to have a hard time even getting words out of his mouth. Doug bombed as well. Ralph was the first one to make it to Jackie, but he couldn't make her laugh. Lavell made the first model laugh by telling her he knew she was looking at his chest. Amy made her laugh with a "working with Howie Mandela, he ended apartheid" joke. Lavell was the first to make Jackie laugh when he came in and said, "I got all your albums KISS." Ralph resorted to his grandfather glasses when he got to Sister Rose, but even that didn't help.

Gerry decided to do the same bit for all the models. That worked fine until he got to Jackie. She didn't get it at all. I thought Matt was funny when he was with Jackie, but she didn't crack a smile. Ralph knew he was bombing and said he was ready to go head to head. Amy made Jackie smile when she said, "I like surprises and I guess you have one for me." Lavell cracked up Twinkie the Clown when he told her "Don't say Twinkie around me. I might bite you, I swear to God." Amy told the nun a Jesus joke. I couldn't tell if the nun was smiling or grimacing. But, once it was all over, I guess it was a smile because it was announced that Amy was the winner. She was granted immunity and thus was the first in the final five. When her name was called Lavell's jaw dropped. He and Ralph exchanged looks while everyone else congratulated Amy. She noticed, saying the she thought Ralph and Lavell were her friends. Then she said she forgot it was a competition and that none of them was really her friend and it hurt her feelings.

For some reason, the show felt the need to throw in a filler of the comedians going to a stress release class at a local community college. But, I must admit that the heart sandwich thing was pretty funny. For the "I Know I am Funnier Than" voting, they went to the Santa Monica Pier. Amy and Doug both voted for Ralph, but since Amy had immunity, Ralph and Doug had to decide whom they would go against. They chose Matt, since he had the least amount of experience. As Matt put it, he was 7 when those guys started doing comedy.

Matt was nervous going in, but I thought his set was funny. I liked his joke about being in a hotel room with the last girl he dated and they turned on the radio. The song on was the theme from Benny Hill. He said you speed up but you cannot carry on like that. I dunno, maybe the audience had never seen Benny Hill. Then he told the audience if they were going to listen to music while in bed, pick a live album because then every so often, you would get applause.

Ralph did a manic set about his girlfriend, his clothes, and her clothes. It was funny when he asked the audience "Do you ever put your ladies underwear on your head? I don't either, I was just checking."

Doug tried to get cute with the crowd by making a local reference to Bakersfield being hell, but to no avail. In the closest voting in Last Comic Standing history (breaking last week's record I guess), Ralph won a mere 3% margin, so Doug and Matt were sent home.

So, my final jinx is that I liked Matt and now he is leaving. I am sorry Joe, Debra, and Matt. I knoweth not what I do. I am not going to tell you that my favorite now is La...nah, can't do that to him. I am beginning to think the name of the show should be Funniest Comics Leaving.

Dear readers, this week's Last Comic Standing just broke my heart - simply broke my heart. But, first, let's talk about what led up to my heartbreak.

Tonight, when they showed the comedians pulling up to their competition destination, much like Lavell, I thought "What the hell?" But, that was because I knew they were at Medieval Times. I loved it when Doug Benson said he hopes no one got medieval on his ass (nice touch with the Pulp Fiction reference). The comedians walked in, but before competing, they sat down to a feast. I watched the comedians eating, thinking, "We were at Medieval Times two months ago and our dinner didn't look that good." And that Lavell - he should be following around the carnival after he threw whatever that was in the pitcher. That was too cool!

The competition was called The Last Jester Standing. Each comedian had 90 seconds to do a routine that had a medieval theme. The patrons would wave flags to determine the winner. First up was Lavell versus Doug. I loved it when Lavell said he looked like a giant beach ball. He truly did! Of course, Doug thought he looked like a court jester/tranny in his dress and he did as well! Lavell got a lot of laughs with his joke "I used to be a white knight, but I fought a dragon and he smoked me." Doug only seemed to have one joke, which wasn't terribly funny, so Lavell won.

Next up was Jon and Ralph. Jon was okay, but poor Ralph just fell apart. He wasn't funny and at one point, it seemed he forgot his jokes, so Jon won easily. Gerry wasn't any better than Ralph. In fact, he was hoping the trumpet would play, meaning the end of his set. He said he had never heard 1,100 people boo in unison and he even thought Bill Bellamy booed him. I didn't think Amy's set was that funny, but like Gerry said, she could have been speaking Chinese and still won.

The final round was between Debra and Matt. They were both hilarious! Matt had me rolling with his "You're a security guard at a castle. You are only here because you are cheaper than a moat. We could dig a hole, but we found a college student with a Dungeons and Dragons fetish that would work for fries." I loved Debra's "On the outside I am a jester, but on the inside I am a wench. And I want to be lanced...a lot!" It was very close. They had to do a manual count and Debra won by a mere three flags. I think Matt should have called for a recount!

Jon won easily over Lavell and Amy beat Debra, so the final was between Jon and Amy. Jon was funnier and won the competition and immunity from elimination. Then came the voting. I really don't like the way they do this. Debra got two votes, so she was in the head to head. Matt and Jon both voted for her, but Jon was ineligible, but it would be Matt and Debra going head-to-head. One would win and one would leave. This just hurt me. Aside from Lavell, Debra and Matt are my two favorites. And after the Jester competition was so close, I knew this would be close too.

Debra had a great set. She talked about the size of her bra. She said it took two people to put it on and that was uncomfortable because she was single and had to ring up the neighbors for help. She said she passed her body fat test with a 50%, which she was pretty sure meant technically she was cream. "I might die alone, but I am delicious in coffee. I am just looking for my coffeemate."

Like I said, it was a great set for Debra. But then Matt, little unassuming Matt came out like a powerhouse. Said being in front of the audience terrified him. And he was a Jew who once got booked for an Islamic Community Center. Said he was "Jewish but not religious...because bacon's nice." And he wasn't going to give up bacon for a God he wasn't sure existed. It was like "driving the speed limit when you knew there were no cops."

He had the audience rolling. He talked about homeopathic medicine and alternative medicine bores who told him not to put anything unnatural in his body. He said "Heroin is natural. So is nicotine and a pack of wolves, the edge of a cliff." Then he delivered what I was sure was the deathblow to Debra. Said being in the head-to-head competition was tough "because Debra's a friend of mine...I helped her put her bra on." Oh man, I knew it was over for Debra. Using her own joke against her is definitely the kiss of death.

But, the vote was actually very, very close - the closest in Last Comic Standing history. By a vote of 55%, Matt won. I was so sad to see Debra go, but if she had won, I would have been sad to see Matt go, so it was going to suck for me either way. I hate that Gerry and Ralph could bomb in the immunity competition, but still be alive for next week, while Debra, who was hilarious the whole night, was sent home. Oh well.

Mel Silverback drive the comics to the challenge round which was held at the Icehouse Comedy Club in Pasadena. Tonight, we would see how the comedians reacted to heckling and how good they were at heckling. Sometimes this can be fun; sometimes it can be downright uncomfortable.

The comedians were divided into teams: Lavell and Debra, Ralph and Gina, Doug and Dante, Matt and Amy, and Gerry and Jon. Lavell went first and he was absolutely hilarious! When Debra heckled him, he told her "hey white lady, don't heckle me. I got one just like you in my trunk right now." Then when she said she wanted her bra back, he told her to not be mad because he had bigger boobies than she did. Debra pretty much failed at heckling. She said it was a "please don't let this be happening" moment. When it was Lavell's turn to heckle Debra, they had a good banter going back and forth. It cracked me up when Debra said she had no back and Lavell said she did "I saw it come in after you." Debra can handle hecklers better than she can heckle.

Jon had a good comeback to Gerry with "alcohol kills brain cells so I think you're drink is looking for something to do." I can't even remember what Jon said when Gerry was on stage. I think the whole heckling thing made him uncomfortable.

Amy cut through Matt in a way I didn't quite expect. He told her she was giving it away and she said, "Sir, if you knew me, you would know I make them pay for it." Then when he heckled again, she said, "Why is there a fetus in the third row? I thought I took care of you in college." Ouch. Amy tried the whole Harry Potter/Lord of the Rings thing with Matt, asking about studying at Hogwarts or looking for the ring. He was pretty good with his comeback - "Have you ever read any books for adults?"

Gina wasn't very good at rebounding to Ralph's heckles, but then he wasn't a good heckler anyhow. I liked when she told him he looked like a peanut with hair. He cut her with "this ain't even my hair. I am a cancer patient, this is my wig. You outta know - you got the one that I wanted."

The audience voted for the winner of the heckle challenge and he or she would receive immunity. The winner was Lavell. He was funny - so far, he is one of my favorites along with his fellow heckler/hecklee Debra. He also won a trip to Montreal to perform in a comedy festival.

The comedians had to go to the Los Angeles Coliseum and do the old "I know I am funnier than" bit to see which three comics would compete head-to-head. Who ever received the most votes would have to face comedians who voted for him or her. Ralph and Dante both got two votes, but Gina broke the tie by voting for Dante. And with that, she sealed her own fate. She, Dante, and Ralph had to go head-to-head. I loved it when Doug said, "Who do I want to lose? I really cante tell you that."

Gina was funny, but in an amusing way. Dante's set was pretty funny, but it was about his daughter and he threw in a Bill Bellamy punch line that seemed like butt kissing to me. Ralph came out with a talkative kid routine that just killed the audience. It was so fast and funny, I was thinking "Game, set, and match Harris."

And with 62% of the vote, Ralph was named the Capital One Audience Favorite. He was allowed to remain in the competition and with that; Dante and Gina were sent packing. I like Gina, but I don't think her stuff was manic enough. I was a bit surprised to see Dante leave so soon.

Next week, the comedians dress up as court jesters for some reason. But Debra's line "And I want to be Lanced...a lot" already has me cracking up!

First up was Jon Reep, the southerner from Hickory, NC. I loved his joke about how you know you are destined to be a redneck if the word "hick" appears in your town's name. I also liked his Red White and Blue joke (Redneck, White trash, and Blue collar).

Next up was one of my favorites, Australian comedian Fiona O'Loughlin. She gave me my first real good laugh of the night when she was saying she couldn't remember the names of all five of her children off the top of her head "because I drink like a fish." However, her anorexic joke didn't seem to go over so well. An anorexic joke not going over well in Hollywood - who would have thunk it? She did have the distinction of being the only comedian I can remember that was beeped this year during the semi-finals. Those rowdy Australians!

I thought Ryan Hamilton had a very short set. He seemed funnier last time I saw him. And I think the lasix joke was a bit of a rip off of a Jeff Foxworthy bit. Gerry Dee was okay to me. He didn't have me rolling in the aisle, but he is humorous. Thea Vidale cracked me up with her "I asked Condolezza Rice what Uncle Tom's cabin looked like on the inside" joke, but for some reason, she mostly just rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe I was having Roz flashbacks.

Dwayne Perkins started out a bit slow, but I ended up loving his joke about women with platonic male friends. He compared that to a job interview where the interviewer would say something like "Your perfect for the job. But we are going to hire someone far less qualified and who has a drinking problem. But can we call you every so often to complain about the guy we did hire?"

Matt Kishen with his big grin - how can you not like this guy? He gave me a good laugh with his joke about not being able to wink. "When I close my left eye, my right eye mostly closes. It looks less like flirtation and more like stroke." Then when he said he could hold open his right eye and asked the audience women if that was doing anything for them - he had them rolling with laughter!

Amy Schumer - I like her a bit, but there is just something about her that I don't find absolutely hilarious. Maybe her delivery is a bit slow or her jokes too long. She is funny, but it just annoys me a bit.

Lavell Crawford was up next. Again, NBC was running a LCS commercial with his joke "Why you breathing so hard? So I can live." And the seat belt bit? "That seat belt just jumped off me like it was happy to be free." I was laughing so hard, thank God I have a DVR or I would have missed the entire next act. I couldn't even see to take notes! On another note...is it just me or does this guy look like the personification of the dad from The Incredibles? Even his head is the right shape! He was great tonight and deservedly got a standing ovation when he left the stage.

Greg Warren was funny, funny, funny tonight. I couldn't even write down his whole bit about his uncle only wanting the score to a baseball game, but it was comedy genius in my opinion. Just hilarious!

Andi Smith has a bit of a Steven Wright thing going on with her "I am too heavily sedated" delivery. Though it was funny when her boss asked her if she was gay and she said no, I don't even like to lick stamps.

I was a bit disappointed with Arj Barker tonight. He was funny, but not as funny as I remember him from the auditions. I really enjoyed Chuck Roy the first time I saw him. This week, he went with a visual joke, but seemed to crack up the audience, but I wasn't really sure about it. Jane Condon was the Connecticut mom who had a good joke about learning to fake sleep rather than an orgasm, but I think she just wasn't edgy enough for the competition. Or may she just didn't bring it tonight.

Last up was Mel Silverback, the guy in the ape suit. I never really got this, but maybe it was because he reminded me of the scene in Hollywood Knights where Robert Wuhl is wearing an ape mask. I did like his joke about how the Baboons had learned to adapt at the drive through zoo…they stood there with squeegees. But the whole ape act seemed one dimensional to me.

Then it was results time. Again, there is nothing sadder than seeing comedians tense and nervous. I am glad that is ending this week! I was a bit happier with the results this week than last week. At least there was no "Oh my God, he/she so does not deserve to be there" moment. First name called was Gerry Dee. My thought was "eh, he's okay." Next up was the Capital One favorite - the funniest guy of the night, Lavell Crawford. Jon Reep was chosen - I was happy with that. Amy Schumer gave me another one of those "eh" moments. I definitely think Fiona was funnier than she was as was Greg Warren. Last name called was Matt Kirshen, which made me happy, but I still could not believe they sent my girl Fiona back to Australia. Oh well.

After all their touting about how this year Last Comic Standing was going international, the international comedian tally is Canada 1, England 1, and Australia 0. And as we all know, Canada isn't really foreign.

This was it baby - Hollywood, California, the "Last Comic Standing" semifinals. Joining talent scouts Alonzo Bodden, ANT, and Kathleen Madigan was guest talent scout Tom Arnold. I love Tom. I always thought he was funnier than Roseanne was.

We saw 16 of the semifinalists tonight. The first one up was John Caparulo. I really felt for John. He was the Capital One audience favorite in Tempe - a tough venue. But he really didn't shine tonight. Too bad, I loved his original stuff.

Next up was Debra DiGiovanni. I loved her the first time I saw her and she was great tonight. I howled at her joke about the girls in NY who wear tummy shirts. "Wait until it is cold, then what are all the tummy shirt girls going to do...talk?" As she went through her performance, I realized why I loved her. Her shtick is like that of Nathan Lane's drag character Starina in The Birdcage. Yes, I just compared her to a drag queen and somehow, I think Debra would be okay with that.

The first make me laugh aloud comedian, Tommy Johnagin. I cracked up as his "Found out I am not much of a fighter recently. I found it out when I got punched in the face...a lot...in a row." When he said a stranger beat up the other guy because he felt sorry for him and "I am the only guy who ever fought another guy and came in third," I laughed out loud again. I was still laughing when he was talking about how his dad told him to get a gun, one that shoots 300 yards. "I don't know the laws of self defense, but if you pick off someone from three football fields away, you may need a lawyer." What seriously had me laughing so hard I was crying was "That guy was coming at me with a knife or carving a turkey in his kitchen, I dunno." I just knew he was a shoo-in to be a finalist.

Dante came out with his impersonation of his daughter's favorite movie, the Wizard of Oz starring his favorite actors. He did a good impersonation of Jack Nicholson as Dorothy, Gilbert Gottfried as the Tin Man, Christopher Lloyd (Jim from Taxi) as the Scarecrow, and Robert DeNiro as the Wizard. The audience gave him a standing ovation when he left. I thought he was good, but I don't know if it deserved a standing ovation.

Next up was my man, Joe DeVito. His "every have one of those days when people think you're the Verizon guy" made me laugh. Then his joke about profiling and people thinking he is in the Mafia, then they see him and say "who called tech support?" was hilarious too. You had already seen one of Joe's jokes on the NBC commercial for "Last Comic Standing" - "I love that little moment between the first kiss and the pepper spray."

The next comedian was Gina Yashere from England. I loved her on the original show, but tonight, I didn't really care for her. But then Joe DeVito is a tough act to follow.

Keeping the international feeling going, Lawrence Mooney was up. I liked his joke about how women think when they get out of the shower and how men think when they get out, but it was a bit predictable. I did like when he said seeing his girlfriend's bum in pantyhose always reminded him of a burglar's face.

Sarah Colonna had a good joke with, when her sister commented on all the alcohol in her apartment, she said, "You never know when Motley Crue is going to stop over...or David Hasselhoff."

Dwayne Kennedy had me rolling when he was talking about how hard working Mexicans were. "If they had been slaves, slavery would have been over quick. They would have done 300 years worth of work in about 9 hours and still had time for a soccer game." Too funny!

Spencer Brown, an English comedian, was funny, but in an odd sort of way. It was as if he was the illegitimate love child of Mr. Bean and Emo Phillips - where Mr. Bean got custody of course because Spencer has a British accent.

At this point, most of the comedian's performances started becoming unmemorable for me. Tracey Ashley just didn't do anything for me, but then if I remember correctly, I really didn't care for her first audition. Ralph Harris did an imitation of his 100+ year old grandfather. It was amusing, but not sidesplitting. Sabrina Matthew did a thing about how she fits all the lesbian stereotypes that was sort of cute. But it seemed as the acts went on they were shorter and shorter and less and less funny. I think Adam Vincent, from Australia, said two sentences - two unamausing sentences. Lori Chase had a good bit about being in NYC for ten years then she had her first mugging. "Boy, was that tourist surprised." Doug Benson and his sarcastic humor really never has done much for me. His Disneyland stuff was okay, but in that VH1 commentary kind of way.

Then it came down to the big moment - who would be in the five to go to the finals. I figured Tommy Johnagin was a sure thing. After all, I bothered to write down his entire performance because it was so funny. I would have bet money on Joe DeVito making it in the final five as well. I was hoping the talent scouts loved Debra DiGiovanni as much as I did. The other two spots were a toss up. I'm sorry, but I had pretty much ruled out John Caparulo, Gina Yashere, Spencer Brown, Tracey Ashley, Ralph Harris, or Adam Vincent as having much of a chance. I figured the crowd loved Dante, so he might fill a space. The fifth spot was anyone's guess.

They showed the nervous and tense comedians in the back room. There is nothing worse than seeing uneasy comedians! When the five moving on were announced, I was stunned. Just stunned. I am totally serious. The first name called was Dante. Okay, I figured he would make it, but let's be honest - I've seen countless comedians do impersonations of Nicholson, DeNiro, Gottfried, and Lloyd. I mean those are like THE easiest guys to do. But he was good, so fine. The next name called was Gina Yashere. I said aloud to myself "You have got to be kidding!" She was funny in England, but I really thought she fell flat here tonight. Next was Ralph Harris. I was starting to feel disillusioned at this point. I was thinking, "Maybe I should just quit watching this show now" when they called out Debra DiGiovanni's name. Ah, someone I really, really, really liked. But, I was hoping to see Tommy Johnigan and Joe DeVito both in the finals and there is only one place left! Panic had set in. Then they called out Doug Benson. Doug Benson? I felt like a kid on Christmas who didn't get the present he really, really wanted. You know, you still have hope as you open that last gift, but once you open it and see it is underwear, you feel kind of empty and cold.

And so I bid a farewell to Joe DeVito. Ah Joe, we barely knew ye. Hey Joe, come to Jacksonville, NC and I will find a babysitter and come see you. Yeah, as if we really have a comedy club here!

First up was Ryan Hamilton. You have seen Ryan before - he is the "I am the love child of Jerry and Elaine" guy on the commercial they have been running non-stop on NBC. Funny, but frankly I am a bit tired of that joke now. Good thing Ryan had more tricks up his sleeve. The "white Chris Rock" thing had ANT rolling and I almost fell off the chair when he said speed dating was like emotional Whack-a-Mole - 30 rejections in an hour. Next up was Suli McCullough. His joke about not having enough surface area for a tattoo was funny and got him though to the live round. Andrew Orvedahl had a good bit about how when people have a wreck, the always say "I didn't see you" and how it would be funny if they got out and said "Gottcha! That was easy" or "I'm sorry. I thought you were someone else." Robin Reiser - I was like Alonzo, I was on the fence with her. Some of her stuff was funny and some not so much.

Lavell Crawford was another one that they wore out on the commercials - "Don't panic - I swell up like this when I get nervous." Again, hilarious, but NBC ruined it with the constant playing. But Lavell was a funny guy and easily made it through to the live round. Greg Warren cracked me up talking about buying cookies late a night and how the cashier says something like "someone's got a cookie addiction." The"shut your mouth whore" and "crackheads don't have to put up with that" comments were dark, but terribly funny! Just when I thought the best had been shown, Chuck Roy shows up. The "So I tell Boots my hairdresser to make me look like Alabama going to the Grammys in 1982" was just priceless! Then, along comes John Caparulo. Good grief, what is Tempe - a bottomless pit of comedic talent?

The live performances continued to entertain, although I felt Andrew Orvendahl was a bit of a hit and miss with his stuff. Kivi Rogers, who we had not previously seen was pretty funny, but the "had not previously seen" part is always the kiss of death. Greg Warren's bit about his school friend making fun of names was too funny. The "no neck Nick" and "if Nick put on a turtleneck, he'd be blind" was silly but he had the crowd rolling. Robin Reiser was funny live, but not as funny as some of the others. John Caparulo continued to show that he deserved to go to the finals with his bit about Bush speeches. When someone bugged him about not watching the speech, his response was "I guess I got more channels. I was watching Sponge Bob on Nickelodeon and happy." He followed that with talking about books versus movies saying, "I trust Tom Hanks to tell me all I need to know."

Who was chosen from the final audition? This was a tough week, lots of funny, funny people, but Chuck Roy was the first to receive the good news that he would be moving on. Next was Lavell Crawford. As he said, "Big Daddy Lavell is going to the finals." Then Greg Warren heard his name called. Greg is hilarious, but I was getting a bit worried for my man Ryan Hamilton. The Capital One Audience Favorite was John Caparulo (I think the Tom Hanks comment won him this distinction). Down to the last name and I was nervous - Suli McCullough was funny and I figured it was down to him or Ryan Hamilton. Finally, Ryan's name was called. Too bad they couldn't have added one more comic as I felt Suli really deserved to go too.

I think the competition is going to be tough. There are some really, really funny people that made it through to Hollywood. I have several favorites (shout out to Joe DeVito if he is still reading - thanks for the MySpace mention!) and I think everyone is going to have to step up their game to be a contender.

I love British humor. Benny Hill, Monty Python, Rowan Atkinson (Mr. Bean) - they all make me roll. But tonight, "Last Comic Standing" went to London and frankly, I was a little under whelmed. I found the Australians to be much funnier.

There were a few British comedians who were good. Matt Kirshen had a funny joke with the media saying today's children were the most unhealthy ever and comparing them to children who lived during the time of the Plague (what's worse - trench foot or computer games?). Spencer Brown (from London Town) was pretty funny. I did like when he came out and said "Thank you. Or as my dyslexic friends say...Thank you." There was total silence and blank looks on the judges' faces until he said "It doesn't affect your speech" then they were all cracking up. Josh Howie seemed to only have jokes about being Jewish (maybe it was just the way the clips were cut). It was funny stuff, but one-dimensional. Ava Vidal was hilarious. I loved that she said she was a prison officer for four years, so she knew how to handle heckling. Her comedy was slow, a la Steven Wright, but she was good. Her first joke was about how she joined Nation of Islam. She said they told her she did the right thing because whites had come to Africa and stolen all the diamonds and gold. She said she knew that, but she had been watching hip-hop videos and she was pretty sure they had gotten most of it back.

The comedian Buddy was scary. Ant hated him, but Alonzo and Kathleen wanted to see him during the live audition. Too bad, he TOTALLY bombed live. I mean, I have never seen a comic during the live audition bomb like Buddy did. I didn't think his stuff was all that funny, but I still felt bad for him. I mean he dropped a joke and you could have heard a cricket outside - it was that quiet.

During the live show, Ava continued to crack me up. She talked about Madonna adopting the black child from Africa. She said people accused Madonna of donating a lot of money to the orphanage and surpassing paperwork, so she essentially bought a child. They asked Ava if she was offended by that. She said she was actually excited because she had two children at home. She told them to get their coats, she was cashing them in. Funny, funny stuff!

The British comedians who did make it through were Matt Kirshen, my girl Ava, and Spencer Brown. They are touting the whole "international" thing this year, but they aren't picking many from the foreign competitions - just 3 from each country.

Next, they went to Minneapolis to find the funniest comedians there. Or, at least in the case of VH1 personality Doug Benson, the comedians who could fly into Minneapolis. Apparently Doug auditioned in LA, but Ant said no because he lacked energy. He came out in Minneapolis very lively and made it to live audition. Isn't this guy making enough on VH1 stuff?

To me, Tommy Jonnagin was the funniest from Minneapolis. I love his pregnancy scare joke. He said his girlfriend had a pregnancy scare; he had a "leave the state" scare. She was worried about how she was going to raise a baby and he was worried about how he was going to get a U-Haul at 7:00 at night. I thought Lil Rel was funny. I loved his joke about his mom being a cigarette smoker and sounding like his dad - Mama Daddy. I also liked Dan Cummins live joke. He said "You know how when someone dies, sometimes it is sad? But other times it just feels right. I heard about a guy that bought a poisonous cobra for a pet, but it bit him and he died. Yeah, what was Plan A?"

I don't really think he is that funny, but Doug Benson made it though. Personally, I would have picked Lil Rel over him. Tracey Ashely, who was mildly funny from what I can remember, was also chosen to move on. My fav from Minneapolis was the Capital One audience favorite - Tommy Jonagin.

So next week, there is no "Last Comic Standing." Have a great Fourth of July. But in two weeks, get ready for the final stop (Tempe, Arizona) then off to Hollywood to whittle down the comedians to the final contestants.

Tonight, we saw more comedians from Los Angeles and then went to Sydney to see the best Australia had to offer.

First up, LA. John Reep was funny in that redneck Jeff Foxworthy kind of way (which I enjoy). I really didn't find Ida La'Shawn that funny with her 'crackhead wanting money for bologna" joke, but I guess it doesn't matter, she didn't make the final cut anyhow. Ant loved Sarah Colonna, but Alonzo and Kathleen weren't really feeling her. Ant convinced Kathleen to ask her back for the live audition. She killed me in the live audition with her joke about going on a blind date with a friend of a friend. She said they asked if she kissed him and she said "Yeah, a couple of times...while we were having sex. It would have been rude not to. He was your friend; I had to treat him right." Stephen Glickman was sick and twisted - two things that are great in a comedian. But, the audience must not have felt it because he didn't make the final cut either. Lizzy Cooperman cracked me up with her "I am a dishwasher in a bar - I am preparing myself to be a good housewife to an alcoholic" routine. Thea Vidale talked about not liking her kids. I guess this was another example of either they didn't show her funniest bits or maybe I just didn't get her.

So, who was chosen to move on? Thea Vidale (again, I didn't feel it), Sean Rouse (has rheumatoid arthritis - could he be this year's Josh Blue?), Dwayne Perkins (honestly, I cannot remember any of his routine), Sarah Colonna (ah, see Alonzo and Kathleen?), Dante (who was the Capital One Favorite), and John Reep.

Then, it was off to Sydney. Like the judges, I had a hard time understanding some of the comedians. And I have seen Crocodile Dundee several times (drum roll please). Okay, back to the REAL comedians. Gina Yashere was simply hilarious. Everything I saw from her was just funny, funny, funny. She was one of my favorites of the night. Talking about her mom moving to England from Nigeria "I'm tired of the sun - I want to go somewhere where with a lot of drizzle and subtle racism" was too funny! Then, during the live show - talking about how Nigerian women who weren't married by 16 and have 8 kids are considered lesbians. The "I have to borrow a child when I visit my mom, unfortunately, I cannot always get the same child" routine was just priceless. I hope she can keep up at this pace.

Claire Hooper's bit about signing for the disabled "I'm behind this wall" was funny, but she didn't make it to the next round. Fiona O'Loughlin was another standout. Go Ladies! She was hilarious - "We have 5 kids, but we are committed…to keep trying until we get one we like." Her timing was flawless. I also loved Lawrence Mooney. The whole bit about how homophobia is the least respected phobia "You wouldn't tell a claustrophobic to spend more time in Mr. Cupboard" and "Maybe a homophobic had a homo fall on him as a child" was cracking up Ant (and me as well). Of course, one of my favorite jokes was from someone not chosen to move on - Sam Bowring. The joke about piracy and how he wouldn't steal a car, but "if a friend called me up and said I just bought a new car, want me to burn you a copy?", he's consider it was funny. Maybe his other stuff wasn't.

Moving on to the next round from Australia was Fiona O'Loughlin, Adam Vincent (the guy with the "give money to homeless person in case it is Jesus undercover" joke), Gina Yashere, and Lawrence Mooney. When Gina heard her name called, she "went rock chick" and Lawrence told the camera he was going to LA and never coming home.

I was really more excited tonight about the Australian comedians than I was the LA comedians. I think Fiona, Gina, and Lawrence are going to be forces to be reckoned with in the next round.

Tonight was the premiere episode of the fifth season of Last Comic Standing. Sometimes I love this show and sometimes it irritates me. I find someone funny and they will make it through to the live audience section. They are funny there, and then they aren't chosen to move on to the next round. What is up with that? And 9 times out of 10, there is someone I thought was just okay funny that is chosen. So either my guys are telling one funny joke that they are televising and five bad jokes they aren't, or the people chosen are telling one okay funny joke they show and five that make the judges pee in their pants.

Next, it was off to Montreal for their auditions. In case you hadn't heard, this year Last Comic Standing is going international. There will be auditions in Montreal, London, and Sydney. There were no Mike Myers, Jim Carreys, or John Candys in the crowd, but I did love Richard Ryder, the burly looking gay guy. His joke about the airbag going off with the cookie smell was just TOO funny. But there were only three spots available and the judges saw fit not put him through. As you might be able to tell, I am still disappointed about that! So who did make it through to the next round? Gerry Dee, who I remembered from last year. That is good - he is a funny guy. They also put through one of my favorites of the night - Debra Digiovanni. Her "I'm retro sexual - haven't had sex in twenty years and I liked to do it to 80s music - who's hungry like the wolf" was hilarious! Everything that came from her mouth cracked me up - if she doesn't make it through to the real show, I may have to quit watching. I am glad Deanne Smith didn't make it though, although her "sunshine is like a warm warm hug...from Jesus" evolution argument joke was funny. The final spot for Montreal - actually the first spot - went to Mel Silverback. Mel was dressed like an ape. Mel's act reminded me of something I would have seen (and laughed at) on the Dick Van Dyke Show. In fact, I think I remember an episode where Dick dressed in an ape suit. Seriously, he was a bit funny, but just didn't do that much for me. I didn't enjoy him as much as Richard Ryder. Yes, I am still not over it.

Finally, finally, they moved on to San Antonio auditions. I thought Bob Biggerstaff was good. I love his joke about the credit card company calling him on his cell phone and his trying to pretend like it was cutting out until they said they could hear the television in the background. And dang it, Bob just looked funny - sometimes that is important. But not in this case, as he didn't make it through. Andi Smith did - again, this was one of the ones that had me shaking my head. She was amusing, not funny - at least in my opinion. Another head shaking choice was Sabrina Matthews. Her joke about her mom, the microwave, and the cats was like an amusing joke someone tells while standing at the watercooler at work. I didn't think she was funny enough to continue, but the judges did. I would have rather seen Phil Palisoul or Robert Hawkins there. The Capital One crowd favorite was Ralph Harris. Finally - someone I thought was funny.

Overall, I was split almost 50/50 on those chosen. It seemed like I either loved them or was like "eh, okay."