Kathy Griffin's crusade to grace the cover of as many magazines as possible finally succeeded with her sharing the cover of the prestigious and widely-read Irish American magazine. While she may have failed to chart on Maxim's Hot 100 (or 1000, for that matter), Kathy made Irish American's Top 100. And they gave her an award, too. At the awards ceremony, "Irish for the Evening" Hilary Clinton snubbed Kathy, who subsequently creeped even herself out by exhibiting some very questionable stalker behavior as she walked uninvited into Clinton's photo ops.

Unfortunately, Star Magazine didn't share the same love for Kathy. In her quest to become the redheaded Oprah, Kathy randomly handed out money to poor women on the street. Star sent their best reporter, of course, to cover such a monumental event: one who called her Kathy Lee and bought a disposable camera to take pictures. Only the best when you're Kathy Lee Griffin. Luckily, Kathy had a backup plan as her assistant taped the events to accidentally "leak" the footage on YouTube. Anything to sell tickets help the people.

Then Team Griffin visited Ireland, which yielded mixed results as Kathy's career tends to do in general. She bombed in front of her peeps, at gay bingo in Dublin. Who knew that Michael Jackson still has fans there? Then Kathy went on the radio to invite all the Griffins of Ireland to a pub for pints on her in honor of her dad. Had it been a party for Kathy, you know it would've been an empty house. But people showed up for her dad, who outshines Kathy even posthumously.

It's been a rough year for Kathy: divorce, death of a parent, non-sellout of prison, dating Ron Jeremy, almost stealing candy from babies, shilling steam vacuums on HSN. But through thin and thin, Jessica, Tom, and Tiffany will always be there to help her out. As long as they stay on the payroll, at least. Team Griffin: the best friends money can buy.

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Female comedians have come a long way in recent years when it comes to hosting the major award shows. Ellen's hosting gig at the Oscars probably fulfilled a lifelong dream of a little girl. And Kathy Griffin got to experience the same thing. Almost. In her case, the "major award show" was the Gay Porn Awards. When you wish upon a star... At least she got a gift basket out of it. Hopefully it included a harness, 'cause you know Kathy's right when she says those never go out of style.

And just one month after selling out Carnegie Hall, Kathy found herself struggling to fill seats at the dining hall of a local prison. Hey, it's not easy to compete with Prison Break airing at the same time. Anyone else find it ironic that prisoners love Prison Break? Maybe it's just me, but showing Prison Break in prison seems as smart to me as showing United 93 as the in-flight movie.

Kathy's security while visiting the prison, of course, was an uber concern. Among the male inmates Kathy found her first stalker, Brian. Moving on up from the D-List, a little at a time. And wearing the stab vest? No problem, Kathy wears one around Jessica in her own home. Kathy was also unfazed by a death row inmate shouting "I want to kill you" from her cell. That would spook most people, but Kathy Griffin? Take a number.

But most of the prisoners seemed to really enjoy Kathy's mini-tour of their compound. Two standing Os, one night after the other? Score. Even though she wasn't allowed to execute anyone like she had requested, I don't think even Kathy could complain. Hey, at this place, it's not like the audience can leave the "venue" early. Do I smell a Kathy Griffin Prison Tour in the works?

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I always had a sneaking suspicion that the hosts on the shopping channels didn't really know what they were doing. I mean, they sell everything from steaks to exercise equipment, yet claim to own/love/use everything they present on-air. Yeah, right. Leave it to Kathy Griffin to expose the dirty truth - literally. Turns out neither she nor Colleen Lopez of Home Shopping Network knew how to use that steam vacuum they were pimping. If seeing Kathy "loosen" the dirt and squeegee it around the floor on its way to the neighbors doesn't convince the American public to buy a steam vac, I don't know what will.

And in a generous move, Kathy decided to let her mom, Maggie, into the empire by having her move in with her. Her reasoning: "I want my mom to come live with me because I want her to be surrounded by love and have a nurturing environment... and do my laundry... mostly the laundry part." Touching. Of course, Maggie moves in for a couple days on a probationary basis. She doesn't want to be worked to the bone, after all. But Kathy comes up with a possible solution: putting her mom on the payroll and doing weekly evaluations of her work. +1 to the empire.

While in Chicago for a show, Kathy visits her beloved niece and nephew. First, she performed a censored Q&A session about the entertainment biz that included the choice words "bastards," "dumbass," and "cokewhore" to nephew JP's 12-year-old middle school peers. Kathy was probably lashing out at the school's inability to fill more than 30 of the 200 seats. That, and bad parenting. Then her niece/pimp Claire set Kathy up on a double date with her tennis coach, Marty. After embarrassing Claire as much as possible (her goal for all of her loved ones, really), Kathy decides that dating a normal guy isn't worth it: "Yeah, I got a free meal. I didn't get free press."

I don't agree, Kathy. Dating Ron Jeremy isn't going to get you where you want to be. I don't care if he'd get my picture in a magazine. It'd probably be the wrong kind, anyways. You know, the kind they sell in places with neon storefronts. Nasty.

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So she steals candy from babies. Okay, not quite. But Kathy Griffin did almost steal some Danish treat from a little girl. You'd think that between all the chocolate, meatballs, and pancake balls in Solvang that she'd already consumed, Kathy would have let the girl eat in peace. But Kathy, of course, can't control herself or her bodily functions. She can't even throw up bulimic-style when she wants to, like backstage after her show that night. To be an A-lister, that's sort of a prerequisite. There's a reason why this show is called My Life on the D-List.

And since Tom's not making her life any easier, Kathy had to interview handymen to repair her wreck of a mansion: "You say you can fix anything, how would you fix my career?" Even though none of the handymen had an answer for that (and who does, really), James did know how to fix Kathy's glass table and 'won' the job. The guy has a bolt in his face, so he must be a natural. And how funny was Kathy's deadpan-to-camera "In my own home" response when one of the handymen candidates didn't know what show she's on?

Things didn't go any smoother during Kathy's corporate hosting gig for Redken, where she failed to connect with an audience of salespeople. To make matters worse, the staged red carpet event found Kathy interviewing Redken employees almost as disinterested as the celebrities that pass her by on the real red carpet. But Kathy got back into the swing of things with her two shows at Mandalay Bay in Vegas, where bald-Britney-beating-up-car jokes always find favor.

The fact that the shows went on for Kathy is remarkable given that her father, John, had just passed away the week before. It's easy to see that Kathy inherited her dad's sense of humor. Remember when he refused to pay $15 for his daughter's DVD at the in-store signing where nobody showed up? I bet Kathy knows that every time she hits the stage, she knows it's where her dad wants to see her from his new seat waaaay up in the balcony. And that, my friends, is a class act.

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In her quest to date men who can get her face into Us Weekly, Kathy tried calling AJ McLean of the Backstreet Boys. But, of course, a D-lister can't always be picky. Nick "Tabloid Bait" Carter would have to do. If any of you saw House of Carters, you know that the Carters aren't the most functional family. Although Nick is probably the most famous of all the Backstreet Boys, so Kathy might've unintentionally scored an upgrade.

One thing she was worried about was Nick's apparent black-ness. While he's not as black as Justin Timberlake, who's "as black as it gets," Nick turned black three times over the course of their date. He's got the street cred, for sure. When you've been in jail for six hours...

But for every close call to greatness, Griffin suffers a setback. With two of her shows in Michigan at half-capacity, she had to drum up business somehow. This included getting interviewed by an intern at the Citizen Patriot, which may or may not be a high school publication. And, of course, only Kathy Griffin would actually show up at the home of a superfan. Hey, when you only have six to begin with, you do whatever you can to keep them.

But bombing at a chili cook-off didn't earn her any new fans. It was only after the crowd, including her own staff, was well intoxicated did she start getting laughs. Maybe she should start serving liquor at all her shows. The extra cash might come in handy, especially when the tickets are free.

Tom's duties as tour manager included wearing a sandwich board to give out those free tickets and filling in for Christina, a waitress at the Texas Corral restaurant, so she could go to Kathy's show. Every filled seat counts when you're staring into an empty theater. Or when your opening act is called The Deep Fried Pickle Project.

But for Kathy Griffin, there's no after-show party at a trendy restaurant or club. The Texas Corral it is, where she can harass Tom and his inaptitude at being a server in Operation Torture Tom. But, of course, the abuse comes from the most loving of places. Earning a place on Team Griffin, after all, is a lifetime task.

Kathy Griffin
Photo Credit: Steve Jennings

Kathy Griffin shouldn't be on the D-List anymore. She's sold out Carnegie Hall. She has an entourage of three staffers. She's an Emmy nominee. But none of that seems to matter when you're Kathy Griffin. Even when she's standing on a busy sidewalk, in front of her poster at Carnegie Hall, with TV crew in tow, she's still, in her own words, "rejected by the public on a 37-to-1 basis."

Kathy is back for another season of wacky antics and self-deprecating humor, but one familiar face is not. She's divorced her husband, Matt, who apparently badly betrayed her. When Kathy Griffin breaks down in tears, you know it was bad. He always seemed so nice on the previous seasons of D-List. It's not every day you see a husband doing his wife's hair in Saddam Hussein's palace, right?

Of course, when you're on the D-List, you can't be choosy about what jobs to take. Her performance at Carnegie Hall might have sold out, but that doesn't stop Kathy from selling out herself. Doing an industrial promo video for Redken must be humbling, but Kathy Griffin's never been one to turn down a paycheck. Dignity not included. But it was hilarious to see her try to out alleged hetero Trent, a Redken sales rep with wife and baby, over the course of the day.

Trying to out straight guys might not be the best strategy for Kathy's plan to date men who can get her on the pages of magazines. You can vote for who she should date to get off the D-List at offthedlist.com, where choices include Sanjaya, Mario Lopez, K-Fed, Larry Birkhead, and Prince William. Since Kathy hates kids, K-Fed probably isn't a good choice. She ain't no baby mama. Sanjaya might work, though, especially since ex-husband Matt isn't around to do Kathy's hair anymore. Kathy with a bright orange faux-hawk? I think so.

Read more about Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List.