Week Three of Dancing with the Stars proved that every audience loves a strong comeback, tugs on the heartstrings, and second chances. Jennie Garth transformed from a babbling brook to the toughest, hardest, and boldest women in heels. She was ready to take no prisoners when she hit the floor. Don't cry for me Argentina never saw the light of day. Jane Seymour honored the passion, love, and memory of her mother. Tears were running over before, during, and after her emblazoned performance. And then there was Wayne and his moustache and feather in his hat. Almost a cast off from last week, he pulled put his best foot forward to earn his second chance. Believe it or not, even without my darling Albert. The fever was blazing all over the dance floor this week. This is how it played out:

"Listen to the ground. There is movement all around. There is something going down. And I can feel it. On the waves of the air. There is dancing out there. If it's something we can share. We can steal it."

Mel B (Spice Girl) coupled with Maksim Chmerkovskly - It is a sad day when the glare from your dance partner's chest outshines your dance moves. Mel is turning out to be a great dancer. Bruno applauded Mel for being in such control of her body, he believed that "not letting it all hang out" would be her greatest challenge. Yikes. First she wasn't lady enough now he thinks she can't keep it in her pants. Either way, it was the bouncing bombshell's best dance yet. (SCORE = 27)

I live in Los Angeles. My sister lives in New Hampshire. She watched the Dancing with the Stars Results show three hours before I did. My phone rang two minutes after the show aired on the east coast. She was busting at the seams wanting to share the "shocking news" of who had been cast off the show. Time slowed as I screamed into the phone, "Don't tell me it is Albert!" She said nothing. She said nothing. From what I gathered I am guessing it is Cameron. That would be shocking, wouldn't it? But I know it cannot be Albert. Albert is the sparkling bright shining adorable light that takes the shadow from my days. It cannot be Albert. It will not be Albert. I can feel it in my body. My womanly instincts are never wrong.

Week Two of Dancing with the Stars was everything a true ballroom blitz should be. The dance floor was electrifying, surprising, and riddled with tragedy. Marie Osmond transformed into a smoking, sexy, and captivating dancer. Wayne stomped around the floor like an orangutan in the wild. Jennie slipped, fell, and sobbed like a baby. And Jane Seymour fled the scene due to a sudden death in the family. Needless to say, there was much happening on and off the dance floor. This is how it played out:

The three-night premiere of Dancing with the Stars (Season 5) proved to be a stellar success for ABC. Having never watched this show in the past, I am a stranger to its charm. To be honest, I thought watching this dancing phenomenon would be a bore. Imagined myself fast-forwarding through the dance numbers. Convinced I would have zero interest in these B-list celebrities. I believed that watching men dance would be an utter snooze fest and far from masculine or sexy. Oh, what a fool! What a damn fool.

I am hooked. Sold. Sucked into the storm. And 100 percent in lust over Albert Reed. At this point, I need an intervention. I have resorted back to my teen-aged self. Someone send me a Tiger Beat magazine with a pullout picture of Albert that I can strategically hang on my bedroom wall. Strategically meaning: close to my bed. Did anyone see this hunk dance? I will admit it here. Only once. And will never admit this again. I have watched Albert's gyrating, magical, sensual, hip-thrusting, Elvis Presley-inspired performance 27 times. 27 times. My upstairs neighbor must think I have gone off the deep end, hearing the same Elvis tune, echoing and ringing from my apartment. "A little less conversation, a little more action, please..."

According to TMZ, the following is a list of people who will participate in Dancing with the Stars. The list also includes 2 substitutes.

Aaron Carter

Wayne Newton

Mark Cuban

Jane Seymour

Mel B (not dancing, but playing a role on the show)

Tori Spelling

Jennie Garth

Floyd Mayweather, Jr.

Lou Ferrigno

Nia Peeples

Richard Quest

Giselle Bundchen

Helio Castroneves

Sabrina Bryan

... And the Dancing With the Stars 4 mirror-ball trophy goes to (insert drum roll here)... speed skater and Olympic gold medalist, Apolo Anton Ohno, and his professional dance partner, Julianne Hough! Just thought I'd save you some time and get straight to the point. While Tuesday's two hour finale was the series' best produced finale to date, viewers had to sit through segment after segment of filler time to find out the winner in the last 10 minutes. Yeah, I know... it's May sweeps.

Tuesday night's finale featured numerous filler segments, from tracing the show's roots (it is originally a UK format) to allowing this past season's eliminated stars the opportunity to take center stage again. We were reminded once again of how... oh, how do I say this nicely... awful some of them were on the dance floor. To break up the monotony of the two-hour finale, the producers also brought back funny-late night-man Jimmy Kimble and his security guard side-kick in a humorous sketch where they promoted the sale of their dance lessons DVD. Note to ABC: I'd buy that DVD just for kicks.

The dancing was simply fierce this week. After eight weeks of competition, the field was narrowed down to the best celebrity dancers, including Olympic speed skater Apolo Ohono, former Beverly Hills 90210 actor Ian Ziering, female boxing champ Laila Ali and former boy band N Sync member Joey Fatone. This week, Judge Len Goodman gave our semi-finalists dancing tips, providing them with a sense of renewed energy. Len zoned in on the problem areas of each of the contestants, and these tips seemed to stick with them on the dance floor. The dancers exuded not only skill, but confidence and showmanship, making the decision on who to vote for difficult at the end. Simply put, this was "strongest semifinals yet!"

For the past 11 weeks, the judges rode him like a $2 mule. And on last night's Dancing with the Stars on ABC, Ian Ziering went out like a thoroughbred.

The former 90210 teen idol, now an annoyingly young looking 43, was a consistently good competitor, but for some reason the judges never liked him. His best scores--three perfect 10s--came this week in what would be his swan song (dance) performance. To get the unanimous approval of judges Carrie Ann, Len and Bruno, Ziering had to wear an Elvis wig the size of a haystack and dance in a white jumpsuit festooned with studs and sequins. He boogied his tight buns off, ending the routine with a perfectly executed round-off, a move Elvis couldn't have done on his best day on earth.

Click here to read the rest of Dancing with the Stars: Judges Out of Step with Ian Ziering

This week on Dancing with the Stars: A boxing legend shows his support, egos are wounded, a computer glitch causes controversy with the scores, and we finally say good-bye to Mr. Achey Breaky Heart.

I knew it was going to be an entertaining Monday night on Dancing with the Stars when we saw the legendary Muhammad Ali in the audience. He was there to support his daughter Laila Ali, and you could feel that the crowd was electrified by his presence all night long.

In Week 7 of Dancing with the Stars, Ian Ziering finally came alive on the dance floor, Apolo Ohno was knocked off the golden child pedestal, and the race to be the front runner was on between Laili Ali and Joey Fatone.

In week 6 of Dancing with the Stars, Heather Mills comes prepared with a good-bye speech at the Results show, Beverly Hills, 90210's Ian Ziering was scolded for not dancing more like Mr. two-left-feet Billy Ray Cyrus, the first group dance of the season proved to be "inventive and odd," and always-flubbing-her-lines Samantha Harris makes her biggest boo-boo yet!

This week on Dancing with the Stars a dancer takes a tumble, Laila seduces the judges with her sexy rumba moves, a couple receive the first perfect score, and Clyde's dancing proves to be too painful to watch (ever again).

The celebrities finally stepped it up this week, showing us not only their sassy moves but their classy side too. And, it only took them five weeks to get there. This was my favorite week because I was thoroughly entertained from the get-go. Seeing Ian's tight outfit (a la John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever) and Heather Mill's partner, Jonathan, get his chest completely waxed, gave me hope that this night might be different from the previous nights. While Ian and Cheryl scored all eights from the judges, Heather and Jonathan's samba left something to be desired. What was their lasting impression? Heather tried to strike a pose on her fake leg, but fell. Even though she can't vogue if her life depended on it, Carrie Ann still gave her props for being so courageous on the dance floor.

Mothers' intuitions are always right, even when it comes to picking which D-list celebrity should be eliminated in a dancing competition.

I made my mama watch DWTS with me this week. What's funny about that is that her primary language is Spanish and she never watches reality shows. However, she soon caught on to this dancing phenomenon and even started talking back to the TV set and commenting on everyone's performance. So, when she said "esta tiesa" or "she's stiff" about Leeza Gibbons' dancing, I knew she was on to something.

And, when Leeza was eliminated on Tuesday night, I wasn't surprised. My mama's always right about everything. I don't think it helped Leeza that she had to dance the paso doble to Bon Jovi. You'd think the producers would know by now that song choice can make or break a performance. Some of you may recall that last season Vivica danced the paso doble to a Bon Jovi song and was also given the axe. Oy, that's not a good sign for anyone that has to dance to a Bon Jovi song again in the near future. Regardless, Leeza was already on her way out, even though she really was not the worst dancer among the bunch. I still think that Billy Ray Cyrus and Clyde Drexler are even worse dancers, but they have a bigger fan base than Leeza to save them each week.

No prosthetic limbs went flying across the center stage of Dancing with the Stars' season 4 premiere on Monday night. However, Heather Mills, "the one-legged, gold-digging former porn model and ex-hooker," according to readers of the British tabloids, might just pull off (pun intended) becoming America's beloved underdog.

Click here to read the rest of Everybody Cut Footloose - Dancing with the Stars Season 4 Premiere